Your Yes I Can VB Gold Gift Message
April 8th, 2008 at 6:56 amHow to Teach Your Players to Use
Affirmations
-By Dave Cross
I gotta tell you, I love March Madness. It's one
of the greatest sporting events there is, and
last night it came to an end for another year
with Kansas's thrilling overtime win to
capture the NCAA men's basketball crown.
Every year we have a cinderella story that
captures everyone's interest until their glass
slipper breaks. This year it was Davidson, and
their sophomore phenom, Stephen Curry. The
sharp shooting guard lead his Wildcats to the
Regional final, before losing to Kansas by two,
59-57.
Along the way he helped his team upset Gonzaga,
Georgetown and Wisconsin. In their four games, he
scored 40, 33, 30 and 25 points.
So why am I writing about a men's college
basketball player here at "Yes, I Can!"
Volleyball Gold?
Because of one single line in one of the many
article's written about Curry and Davidson as
they jumped into the spotlight of the national
tournament.
Here it is:
"On the red trim at the bottom of his shoes,
Stephen Curry has written in black marker, 'I
can do all things.'"
Yep, there it is, his self-affirmation.
I have written about the use of self-affirmations
by our players, and even coaches I know,
(including myself), as an effective technique for
self improvement many times.
In fact, there is an entire section on this in our
original book, "Volleyball Cybernetics", and an
entire track on our "Living the Miracle" CD
about using them.
Do a search on Google for "self-affirmations"
and you'll have 234,000 links to check out.
Motivationalists and peak performance coaches
across the world stress the importance and
effectiveness of using them constantly.
I have had many players over the years that I
have taught to use one or two that have benefited
tremendously from it. There's simply no doubt
they work, so I'm not here to try and convince
you.
Instead, let's talk about how to get your young
female athletes to develop and use them
their selves:
It's not the finding of the words that is the
tough thing. It's easy to come up with a phrase
that fits a player's specific needs. It's
getting them to use the affirmation constantly
that's the tough part.
Why? It's a comfort zone thing. It's not
something kids are taught in school, or in 99% of
the homes they come from.
If you've worked with players before on
developing and using them you know what I'm
talking about. When you first introduce the
concept, you are definitely sailing into
uncharted waters with these kids. And you are
always greeted with rather quizzical looks of
dis-belief.
You see, kids are very in-tune to the effect of
what others say to them. This is something they
learn at a very early age. Just spend a day in
any school building and you are bound to see a
few cases of "hurt feelings" because of
something that was said.
What young people have never realized very well
on their own is the concept of personal
responsibility. "Things" are always someone
else's fault. It's a part of growing up that is
becoming increasingly difficult for educators to
deal with in today's society.
This is the first obstacle we must get past when
teaching our athlete's to use self-affirmations:
That they are in total control of how they talk
to themselves-and it is their own responsibility
to be positive in their thoughts.
Kids think that they "just think". There's
nothing they can do about it-it just happens.
When I question a student or player about their
behavior or something they have just said and
they say, "I don't know", I will many times
come back with, "Ok, then go ask the person who
does know and then come back and tell me."
"Huh? Wait a minute, ohhh, there is no one to
ask. I'm the one who decided to do (or say)
that. I'm the one who thought of it."
You see, "personal responsibility" is outside of
their comfort zone- especially if they do or say
something wrong. And this applies to their own
self-talk, "I can't help it, it's just what I think."
I've found the easiest way to get young people to
understand that they can control their self-talk
is to first teach them that they can control what
they "see" in their minds-that they can
visualize what they want to-whenever they want
to.
Just take a bunch of girls and tell them to
"'see their favorite boy" in their mind. They
will all be able to do this almost instantly-as
you will be able to tell by the array of grins
and giggles you get.
Then explain to them that they can see this
"picture" so easily because they have practiced
it many, many times. They think about him and
they see his face in their mind-that's "practice".
Then point out to them that if they can control
what they "see", they can control what they
"think" also. It makes perfect sense and it's
easy for them to understand in these terms.
"Ok, you know how the words of others effect
you-how they can make you instantly happy or sad.
Guess what? What you say to yourself has the
exact same effect-it's not just the source of
the words that's important-it's the words
themselves that carry the most impact. So, why
would you purposefully 'beat yourself up'
needlessly by telling yourself you 'can't do
something' or 'you stink today'? Doesn't make
much sense does it? Don't you think it would be
a lot more helpful to tell yourself you 'can do
it', or you are 'good enough'?"
Now you've got them thinking! The next step is to
explain to them what self-affirmations are and
how they will help them. "They are simply
'positive self-thoughts' and they will have the
same powerful effect as when your coach tells you
how great you are doing-except you don't have to
wait for them to say it!"
"Remember, your mind believes what you tell
it-whether it is good or bad, so why not tell
yourself good things? Tell yourself you're an
awesome hitter, or a beastly blocker, or a
defensive machine!"
"But wait a minute, coach, isn't that like being
big-headed or cocky?"
Ahh yes, the second big obstacle to overcome in
their own personal comfort zone!
Kids are taught at an early age that "bragging"
isn't cool. They learn this pretty quick when
they try to tell their buddies about something
good they did-and they get the typical responses
back, "Oh yeah, but you did this", or "Who
cares, that's not a big deal".
You see, that's another element of our society:
It's much easier to tear someone down, cut them
down to "your level" than it is to work harder
yourself and achieve the same thing that other
person has. Don't believe me? Just pick up one
of those tabloids at the grocery store and read
about the latest crises in the lives of the
celebrities. Those 'rags' are dedicated to
tearing down the famous and successful. And, hey,
if that approach didn't sell their publications,
do you think they would still write about that
stuff? I don't think so.
The answer to the "big-headed/cocky" question is
simple:
"Yes, if you are telling someone else how 'great
you are' to try and impress them, then that is
bragging, and most times they will think your
have a big head, or you are cocky. But, if you are
simply saying these positive statements to
yourself, no one else is going to hear them. You
aren't saying them to impress anyone else, just
help yourself. That's not bragging."
Again, this will make sense to your players on a
level they can understand. Now you are at the
point where you can guide them through developing
a couple of self- affirmations to help them with
the area of their game that needs the most help-no
matter what that may be.
Here a few keys to focus on in helping your
players develop effective self-affirmations:
1. Make them short and to the point:
"I'm a beast" (For aggressiveness)
"I'm a blocking machine" (Or hitting, setting,
digging, etc.)
"I make great decisions"
"I can do it" or even better, "I will do it"
"I'm an awesome hitter" (Or any other skill)
2. Say them with emotion and enthusiasm-the tone
of the "inner voice" is very important. Just as
it is when you talk to someone-the "meaning" of
what is said comes a lot more from "how"
something is said than "what" is actually said.
3. Say them repeatedly. I mean a lot! And not just
when you are getting ready to play, or are
playing. Yes, you use them then, too. But, the
more often you repeat them the more powerful the
effect will be on how you think, feel and perform.
Coaches:
Teaching your players to use self-affirmations is
a no-brainer. It will help them to become better
players. And more importantly, you'll be
teaching them a life-skill they may very well use
in much more important situations in their lives
on down the road.
Take the time to do this with your players. Even
though we all know they all won't use their
"new skill" as much as we might want them
to-they will all definitely use it more than if we
never take the time to teach them. And, the ones
that do will experience levels of success they
would have never reached without it-which is what
we coach for, isn't it?
Just think of how proud the person that taught
Stephen Curry the power of self-affirmations must
be these days!
-Dave Cross
National Director
Yes I Can Volleyball
-By Dave Cross
I gotta tell you, I love March Madness. It's one
of the greatest sporting events there is, and
last night it came to an end for another year
with Kansas's thrilling overtime win to
capture the NCAA men's basketball crown.
Every year we have a cinderella story that
captures everyone's interest until their glass
slipper breaks. This year it was Davidson, and
their sophomore phenom, Stephen Curry. The
sharp shooting guard lead his Wildcats to the
Regional final, before losing to Kansas by two,
59-57.
Along the way he helped his team upset Gonzaga,
Georgetown and Wisconsin. In their four games, he
scored 40, 33, 30 and 25 points.
So why am I writing about a men's college
basketball player here at "Yes, I Can!"
Volleyball Gold?
Because of one single line in one of the many
article's written about Curry and Davidson as
they jumped into the spotlight of the national
tournament.
Here it is:
"On the red trim at the bottom of his shoes,
Stephen Curry has written in black marker, 'I
can do all things.'"
Yep, there it is, his self-affirmation.
I have written about the use of self-affirmations
by our players, and even coaches I know,
(including myself), as an effective technique for
self improvement many times.
In fact, there is an entire section on this in our
original book, "Volleyball Cybernetics", and an
entire track on our "Living the Miracle" CD
about using them.
Do a search on Google for "self-affirmations"
and you'll have 234,000 links to check out.
Motivationalists and peak performance coaches
across the world stress the importance and
effectiveness of using them constantly.
I have had many players over the years that I
have taught to use one or two that have benefited
tremendously from it. There's simply no doubt
they work, so I'm not here to try and convince
you.
Instead, let's talk about how to get your young
female athletes to develop and use them
their selves:
It's not the finding of the words that is the
tough thing. It's easy to come up with a phrase
that fits a player's specific needs. It's
getting them to use the affirmation constantly
that's the tough part.
Why? It's a comfort zone thing. It's not
something kids are taught in school, or in 99% of
the homes they come from.
If you've worked with players before on
developing and using them you know what I'm
talking about. When you first introduce the
concept, you are definitely sailing into
uncharted waters with these kids. And you are
always greeted with rather quizzical looks of
dis-belief.
You see, kids are very in-tune to the effect of
what others say to them. This is something they
learn at a very early age. Just spend a day in
any school building and you are bound to see a
few cases of "hurt feelings" because of
something that was said.
What young people have never realized very well
on their own is the concept of personal
responsibility. "Things" are always someone
else's fault. It's a part of growing up that is
becoming increasingly difficult for educators to
deal with in today's society.
This is the first obstacle we must get past when
teaching our athlete's to use self-affirmations:
That they are in total control of how they talk
to themselves-and it is their own responsibility
to be positive in their thoughts.
Kids think that they "just think". There's
nothing they can do about it-it just happens.
When I question a student or player about their
behavior or something they have just said and
they say, "I don't know", I will many times
come back with, "Ok, then go ask the person who
does know and then come back and tell me."
"Huh? Wait a minute, ohhh, there is no one to
ask. I'm the one who decided to do (or say)
that. I'm the one who thought of it."
You see, "personal responsibility" is outside of
their comfort zone- especially if they do or say
something wrong. And this applies to their own
self-talk, "I can't help it, it's just what I think."
I've found the easiest way to get young people to
understand that they can control their self-talk
is to first teach them that they can control what
they "see" in their minds-that they can
visualize what they want to-whenever they want
to.
Just take a bunch of girls and tell them to
"'see their favorite boy" in their mind. They
will all be able to do this almost instantly-as
you will be able to tell by the array of grins
and giggles you get.
Then explain to them that they can see this
"picture" so easily because they have practiced
it many, many times. They think about him and
they see his face in their mind-that's "practice".
Then point out to them that if they can control
what they "see", they can control what they
"think" also. It makes perfect sense and it's
easy for them to understand in these terms.
"Ok, you know how the words of others effect
you-how they can make you instantly happy or sad.
Guess what? What you say to yourself has the
exact same effect-it's not just the source of
the words that's important-it's the words
themselves that carry the most impact. So, why
would you purposefully 'beat yourself up'
needlessly by telling yourself you 'can't do
something' or 'you stink today'? Doesn't make
much sense does it? Don't you think it would be
a lot more helpful to tell yourself you 'can do
it', or you are 'good enough'?"
Now you've got them thinking! The next step is to
explain to them what self-affirmations are and
how they will help them. "They are simply
'positive self-thoughts' and they will have the
same powerful effect as when your coach tells you
how great you are doing-except you don't have to
wait for them to say it!"
"Remember, your mind believes what you tell
it-whether it is good or bad, so why not tell
yourself good things? Tell yourself you're an
awesome hitter, or a beastly blocker, or a
defensive machine!"
"But wait a minute, coach, isn't that like being
big-headed or cocky?"
Ahh yes, the second big obstacle to overcome in
their own personal comfort zone!
Kids are taught at an early age that "bragging"
isn't cool. They learn this pretty quick when
they try to tell their buddies about something
good they did-and they get the typical responses
back, "Oh yeah, but you did this", or "Who
cares, that's not a big deal".
You see, that's another element of our society:
It's much easier to tear someone down, cut them
down to "your level" than it is to work harder
yourself and achieve the same thing that other
person has. Don't believe me? Just pick up one
of those tabloids at the grocery store and read
about the latest crises in the lives of the
celebrities. Those 'rags' are dedicated to
tearing down the famous and successful. And, hey,
if that approach didn't sell their publications,
do you think they would still write about that
stuff? I don't think so.
The answer to the "big-headed/cocky" question is
simple:
"Yes, if you are telling someone else how 'great
you are' to try and impress them, then that is
bragging, and most times they will think your
have a big head, or you are cocky. But, if you are
simply saying these positive statements to
yourself, no one else is going to hear them. You
aren't saying them to impress anyone else, just
help yourself. That's not bragging."
Again, this will make sense to your players on a
level they can understand. Now you are at the
point where you can guide them through developing
a couple of self- affirmations to help them with
the area of their game that needs the most help-no
matter what that may be.
Here a few keys to focus on in helping your
players develop effective self-affirmations:
1. Make them short and to the point:
"I'm a beast" (For aggressiveness)
"I'm a blocking machine" (Or hitting, setting,
digging, etc.)
"I make great decisions"
"I can do it" or even better, "I will do it"
"I'm an awesome hitter" (Or any other skill)
2. Say them with emotion and enthusiasm-the tone
of the "inner voice" is very important. Just as
it is when you talk to someone-the "meaning" of
what is said comes a lot more from "how"
something is said than "what" is actually said.
3. Say them repeatedly. I mean a lot! And not just
when you are getting ready to play, or are
playing. Yes, you use them then, too. But, the
more often you repeat them the more powerful the
effect will be on how you think, feel and perform.
Coaches:
Teaching your players to use self-affirmations is
a no-brainer. It will help them to become better
players. And more importantly, you'll be
teaching them a life-skill they may very well use
in much more important situations in their lives
on down the road.
Take the time to do this with your players. Even
though we all know they all won't use their
"new skill" as much as we might want them
to-they will all definitely use it more than if we
never take the time to teach them. And, the ones
that do will experience levels of success they
would have never reached without it-which is what
we coach for, isn't it?
Just think of how proud the person that taught
Stephen Curry the power of self-affirmations must
be these days!
-Dave Cross
National Director
Yes I Can Volleyball