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Winning With Class

-By Tom Houser

I talk a lot about how to be a good loser and how
to control yourself when you're losing. I also
discuss the little things that may get you the few
more points your team needs to prevent a loss. 

But, today, I want to talk to you about the
behaviors of the coach who's winning. I've been
very successful as both a high school coach and a
club coach. So I think I have a lot of knowledge
about how winning coaches should behave. 

You may not be winning big yet. But if you coach
long enough, you will have some very strong teams.
Or, if you think some of your rival coaches need
to read this immediately, just forward it to them.
Maybe they'll become a Gold Member Coach, and
become an all-around better person! haha 

Winner's Rule #1: Compliment Other Teams, Their
Coach, Their Players. 

You want to be such a nice guy that the players on
the other teams want to try out for your team next
winter! You want to say such nice things to the
press about your opponents, that the writers will
swear you're applying for a job at the opponent's
school. 

Here's an example of the results of being nice to
your opponents: About 10 years ago, I was coaching
a travel team in Martinsville, Va. During a rest
break at one of our tournaments, one of my
player's parents said to me, "Ever since you
complimented my daughter after a match last
season, she's been wanting to play for you." I
knew being nice to defeated opponents was the
polite thing to do, but I didn't realize that some
kids would be so impacted. Since then, I've heard
several similar stories involving other coaches.
Take my advice. Being nice to defeated opponents
is a show of class. 

Many coaches compliment others after a loss. That
makes sense. Heck, the opponent just beat your
team, so they probably have players who are more
skilled. Why not congratulate them? 

But it's smarter to say nice things to opponents
after you beat them. Yes, we did well in DC, but
after every match, I said something nice to every
player on the other team that I could remember her
position. I said things like, "You're an awesome
setter," or "Great blocking," or "You're a beast
in the middle," or "Awesome digs," or "Wonderful
serving". 

To the coaches I'd say things like, "Your passing
was wonderful," or "Your team has a lot of heart,"
or "Your girls give a great effort," or "#10 is a
fantastic server". 

Finally, if you're going to follow my advice, then
don't go overboard and lie to a player or a coach.
If the player didn't play well, just say something
standard like "Good job". And if you tell a girl,
"Great setting," and she is a DS, then you'll look
stupid rather than looking like a nice guy!
Jeeeze, that didn't work very well, did it? 

Winner's Rule #2: Don't Ever Make A Spectacle!

Opposing coaches and parents will seethe when the
opposing coach starts arguing with a referee when
his team is winning 21-8. If I were on the losing
side of the scoreboard, I would be upset also. DO
NOT make a fool of yourself arguing a net call or
a touch call when your team is winning big. You
really have a desire to be hated? 

Therefore, I encourage you to not make a scene
over a point or two if you have an opponent
seriously outmanned. Sure, you can ask the ref for
clarification on a call. Sure, you can get your
speaking captain to ask the referee a question. Or
you can even say, "Is the score right? Are you
sure? OK." But then, I advise you to say, "Thank
you. That's cool," and let the game continue. 

Winner's Rule #3: Call Off The Dogs, But Only To A Degree. 

Also, do not keep your starters on the court
during a lopsided game, unless you have a definite
plan. Here's an example of such a plan: In DC last
weekend, I was ready to put in three subs half-way
through a noncompetitive 1st game. My assistant
said, "Why not let all three subs play the entire
2nd game?" I was like "Awesome idea!" So, if
someone would have angrily asked, "Why did you
keep your starters in at 22-5?" I would have
answered, "Because I was going to allow all my
subs to play the entire 2nd game." And if they
still pressed me, I would have said, "And that
would have given the opponent a chance to compete
with us from 0-0." 

Just this past week, I was talking to my assistant
coach about encouraging girls to try risky skills
when the score is lopsided. I told her, "Some
coaches like it, some don't." She said, "When else
would you encourage your 7th grader to jump serve?
It's not like softball, where you can score 30
runs in an inning. It's volleyball. After you win
25 rallies, the game is over. Period." I'd never
thought about it that way, but when I'm coaching
against an overmatched team, I will encourage my
players to try the slide, try the pipe, try the
jump spinner, try the jump set, etc. I know that
some of you see this as rubbing it in, but I
don't. Even in high school basketball, when the
subs get an open shot, they take it, even if their
team is up by 30, even if the shot is a
3-pointer.  

Winner's Rule #4: Be A Role Model.

If you want your players and parents to be "good,"
then you have to be good. If you make statements
like, "Members of ABC Juniors don't act that way,"
then you, the coach, must adhere to that policy
also. 

Realize, the more you encourage, the more your
players will encourage. Likewise, the more you
taunt your opponent, the more your players will
(Remember the "In His Hands" team? They learned
their actions directly from their "Christian"
coaches.) 

In DC there was a team that wouldn't roll the ball
to us after they'd lost a rally. They would drop
the ball in an area of our court where no one was
standing, trying to delay the game. (And, yep,
their coach was a young male.) I was ticked the
first time I saw it, but hoped that my players
wouldn't notice. Heck yeah, they noticed. They
came over during a time-out saying, "The next time
she does that," and I interrupted, "You'll shag
the ball, serve where we tell you to, get the dig
up, then cover. You will do your job." But I knew
my girls had been further motivated by our
opponents, and that was fine with me! Haha 

So coaches, if you teach your players little
piece-of-crap bush-league behaviors, don't be
surprised when your opponents play even harder. I
encourage you to be a role model. 

Furthermore, most girls are inherently honest,
honorable and caring. If you teach them to be
conniving and deceitful, you're not only
motivating your opponents, but you're tying your
girls' inherent nature in knots. If you're a man,
you may not realize how hard it is for a 14 year
old to play a game when her leader is expecting
her to be mean/cruel. 

Now, about the parents. On many teams, the parents
act only as rowdy as the coach. Yes, usually if
the coach fusses at the refs, the work team and
his players, the parents fall right in behind him.
"But I want my parents to be active in the match."
And you want them to look like spoiled brats? You
want them to get a reputation of being bad sports?
You want them to be known by refs before the match
even starts? You're not really looking out for
your team, are you? 

Sure I've seen a few teams where the parents act
worse than the coach. In if were the coach of
those teams, I would call a parents meeting and
ask the parents to calm down. Everyone has job to
do. Coaches coach, players play, parents cheer.
That's it. "If any of us try to perform outside
our area of expertise, that's not good for our
team."  

Winner's Rule #5: Be Humble.

Or maybe I should say, "Be thankful". Winning is
pretty cool. But it is also fleeting. Think your
school team is beastly? Wait until you play the
public school down the road. Or maybe it's lucky
you're not in the same conference as the suburban
team from ABCville. 

Think your Junior Team is awesome? Then check out
the competition at the FarWest Qualifier or the
Northern Lights Qualifier. The year my team
attended Nationals, we won 2 matches and lost 7.
Jeeeeze. We played beasts match after match and
got pummeled. 

We had a great tournament in DC. But we had
practice on Wednesday, and I said, "Sure we're
proud. But we're not stuck up. If you guys start
getting a big head, then we'll start practicing
against women, or I'll bring in our club's 18's
team. Then you'll discover how far you have to go.
We're thankful for our success, but we will not
rest on it. Today we will become a better team and
better volleyball players. Are you guys ready?" 

About 5 years ago, a girl on my travel team had
just completed a 20-0 JV season. However, her team
had not played any of my other travel players'
teams. The undefeated team's non-conference
opponents were all easy victories. As our travel
season progressed, the other 10 girls got pretty
tired of hearing about that undefeated season.
Finally, I had to tell Miss Proud to calm down
before she made enemies. 

The Miss Proud story applies to coaches also.
Don't brag, but just continue going about your
business. Enjoy your success, but only hard work
and effort will win the next match.  

Winner's Rule #6: "Leave A Sleeping Dog Be"

Don't celebrate without taking into account the
opponent's feelings. Don't allow your players to
talk to your opponent's through the net. The rule
here is: "Don't do anything that will motivate
your opponents." 

That includes motivating them during that
particular match, or for next month's rematch, or
for next season. Give your opponents the job of
motivating themselves. Force their coach to give
them a big pre-game speech. Don't act stupid
during/after a victory, thus creating a monster
that'll be twice as hard to subdue the next time. 
 
I've been coaching 15's for four straight years
now. But last season, my present team had a
horrible experience with an opposing coach. A year
later, not a week goes by without a player or
parent saying, "Coach Houser, did you hear?" The
incident was so bad, that the coach has been
banned from attending that tournament in 2008.
Well, this past week, there he was in DC. My girls
acted like they'd seen a car wreck. Some stared,
some shook their head, some got emotional. He was
still coaching 14's, but his team had entered the
15's division. We never had to play his team, but
if the two teams had been matched up, my players
would have had a hard time controlling their
emotions. 

Is that what you want? You want to inflame your
opponents? You want to make YOURSELF the reason
the opponents want to win so badly? Well, if
you're like this, or ever become like this, you
need to have your cage rattled. What is wrong with
you? 

Last weekend, a team we played had a little stuff
block cheer. That's fine. But at the end of the
cheer, all 6 opponents turned to face us. Not
smart. That just motivated us the more. 

Most people don't like winners to begin with. When
I coached at one school for 15 years and had 24
conference losses in all that time (I've included
the end-of-season tournaments), I realized that
both my team and my players were "marked men". The
New England Patriots are in the crosshairs of
every team's sites. The game against Duke is the
high point of every basketball team's schedule.
When you're in this situation, you don't do
anything that'll motivate your opponents more than
they're already motivated. 

Let's conclude with a conference I had with my
principal in 1997. He told me, "You know you'd be
named Coach Of The Year more often if you would be
more of a politician, if you'd hang out with your
fellow coaches, if you weren't so driven to beat
their brains in." 

I responded, "You're asking me to be someone I'm
not. You've never heard that I've said one bad
thing about an opponent, have you?" "No". "It is
also against my character to spend 10 minutes
before a match schmoozing with the opposing coach.
I have stuff to do, and winning an award isn't
that important to me." 

But now that I'm older, the principal's comments
have become more relevant. If I ever coach a high
school team again, I'll probably take his advice
(if I have the assistant coaches to help me with
the rest of my job!). Even though I still don't
care about my own personal awards, being nice to
opposing coaches and their players and their fans
would be like pouring water on their fire. Yep,
I'm sure I will do just that! 

-Tom Houser
Head Coach, 2008 and 2007 Roanoke Juniors 15's Open
Director, STAR Volleyball Camps
Author, "I Can't Wait" Drill Collection and Ebooks
www.coachhouser.com