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   December 2007  |  e-Newsletter
 

Like this cartoon? Send it to friends, clients or colleagues on greeting cards. To order, visit The Billable Hour Card Store.

Suzan Charlton is a professional cartoonist who is rumored to practice insurance coverage law as a hobby for a major Washington D.C. law firm. Her cartoons cover a wide range of law-related topics, from law school grades to law firm romance.

Song of the Month: Santa v. Acme Sleigh
by Lawrence Savell

imageaudio player.

Available on The Lawyer's Holiday Humor Album

It was a cold night in late December
Snow was falling down, as I remember
The senior partner came through my office door
Handed me a file as he laughed with a roar
"We've got a new client in the vehicle biz
With a lawsuit that says defective was his
The trial starts tomorrow in a northern state
And you're lead counsel so you better not delay"
I looked at the file and to my surprise
The plaintiff was someone I recognized.

The name of the case was Santa v. Acme Sleigh
And Does One through Eight

The name of the case was Santa v. Acme Sleigh.

I walked into the courtroom as the clerk said "All rise"
Then in came the judge looking somber and wise
"Please proceed, Mr. Claus, as I've agreed to allow"
Santa gathered some papers and gave all a quick bow
"Kind jurors," he said, "the evidence it will show
That the sleigh made by Acme, it just wouldn't go
And consequentially damaged all the girls and the boys
Who belatedly received their holiday toys."
He set forth his claim and with humor besides
"Perhaps we should settle," my client I advised.

The name of the case was Santa v. Acme Sleigh
And Does One through Eight

The name of the case was Santa v. Acme Sleigh.

I made a motion to bring the trial to a halt
That one of Santa's helpers was instead at fault
The judge rejected my argument as without sense
"In this jurisdiction you can't plead elf defense."
"It was light, it was dark, it was God" I then blamed
But all my defenses ended up just the same
The judge had one reply to all of my rants
"No summary judgment in winter will I grant."
Santa's closing was masterful, the jury wide-eyed
"I really think we should settle," my client I advised.

The name of the case was Santa v. Acme Sleigh
And Does One through Eight

The name of the case was Santa v. Acme Sleigh.

The judge said to the jury "It's your turn to decide
If Acme Sleigh acted either naughty or nice
He told them the law that they were to apply
And to retire until their verdict was nigh
But before they could go I made one final plea
That the jurors place some mistletoe above their box seats
The Court said "Okay" and they did as I asked
Then I made one final motion the Court had to grant.
"With the mistletoe fastened as they have all done
This jury now constitutes one that has hung."

The name of the case was Santa v. Acme Sleigh
And Does One through Eight

The name of the case was Santa v. Acme Sleigh.

Just one of the hilarious songs on
The Lawyer's Holiday Humor Album

Juris Comic

To view Juris Comic, click here

Poeticus Lex: Applause for Claus
by Fred C. Russcol, Esq.
Attorneys all love old Saint Nick,
Though puzzled by what makes him tick
(The fellow gives away the store—
He mayneed a conservator!)

Lawyers all are quite renowned
For saying things the long way 'round,
So every lawyer thinks it clever
To have a Claus go on forever.

Fred C. Russcol, Esq. is Of Counsel to Castro & Remer, P.C. in White Plains, New York. This poem was originally printed in the Westchester Bar Journal and is reprinted with the permission of the Westchester County Bar Association.

In This Issue

  1. Answers to your holiday gift-giving questions (or "Everything you've always wanted to know about The Billable Hour Company's shipping policies but were afraid to ask")
  2. Feature Article: Change your mind, change your practice(s)
  3. Stu's Views
  4. Greetings From TBH: It's not too late to order holiday cards
  5. Cartoons by Dan
  6. Special book excerpt: Plain vs. precision: a fight to the death
  7. Lawtoons
  8. Song of the Month: Santa v. Acme Sleigh
  9. Cartoon: Juris Comic
  10. Poeticus Lex: Applause for Claus
Answers to your holiday gift-giving questions (or "Everything you've always wanted to know about The Billable Hour Company's shipping policies but were afraid to ask")
We want to make your holiday shopping experience as simple as possible. With this goal in mind, here are the answers to some frequently-asked questions about shopping—and shipping—with The Billable Hour Company:

How soon after I place an online order is my order shipped?
All orders placed before noon (Eastern time) Monday through Friday will be shipped the same day; orders placed after noon Monday through Friday are shipped the next business day. Orders placed on weekends and holidays are shipped the next business day.

What shipping options do you offer?
UPS Ground (delivery in 1-5 business days) is the default domestic shipping method. We also offer UPS Next Day Air Saver (delivery by the end of the next business day), Second Day Air (delivery by the end of the second business day), and 3 Day Select (delivery by the end of the third business day). As you can see from the map below, packages shipped via UPS Ground from our warehouse in Terre Haute, Indiana are delivered to most U.S. locations in three days or less.

UPS Map

Are item prices printed on your packing slips?
You can feel comfortable having your gifts shipped directly to the recipients: there are no prices on our packing slips.

What is the deadline for placing an order to make sure that it arrives before Christmas?
Since we're lawyers, we have a very lawyer-like answer to that question: "it depends." The absolute latest you can order a gift to ensure delivery before Christmas via UPS Next Day Air Saver is 12:00 p.m. (noon) Eastern on Friday, December 21.

The ordering deadline for delivery before Christmas via UPS Second Day Air is 12:00 p.m. (noon) Eastern on Thursday, December 20, and the deadline for UPS 3-Day Select is 12:00 p.m. (noon) Eastern on Wednesday, December 19.

Deadlines for delivery before Christmas for packages shipped via UPS Ground (the most cost-effective shipping option) vary. Orders shipped to Indiana and most of Illinois can be placed as late as 12:00 p.m. (noon) Eastern on Friday, December 21. Orders shipped to the rest of the Midwest and most of the East Coast should be placed by 12:00 p.m. (noon) Eastern on Thursday, December 20 to ensure Christmas delivery. If your order will be shipped to the plains states, Florida or the Northeast, make sure you order by 12:00 p.m. (noon) Eastern on Wednesday, December 19. If your gift is going to most of the western third of the country, plan on ordering by 12:00 p.m. (noon) Eastern on Tuesday, December 18. Finally, if your gift is going to Hawaii or Puerto Rico, the deadline is 12:00 p.m. (noon) Eastern on Monday, December 17.

To figure out how quickly a package will arrive at your shipping address, please consult the map above .

Do you ship orders outside the U.S.?
We sure do! USPS Priority Mail International (delivery in 6-10 days) is the default shipping method for orders shipped outside the U.S.method. We also offer USPS Express Mail International (delivery in 3-5 days) and USPS First Class Mail International (for orders up to 4 lbs; delivery times vary). If you have entered a shipping address outside the U.S. at Step 1 of Checkout, you will be offered only the international shipping options at Step 2 of Checkout.

Change your mind, change your practice(s)
by Julie Fleming Brown
We cannot solve problems with the same level of consciousness that created them.
~Albert Einstein

This is one of my favorite quotes. It is, at least for me, a truism that I must change my perspective, my way of thinking, my approach to a problem before I can possibly solve the problem. Another great quote on this topic is, If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got. I understand that many 12-step programs use that statement to explain "insanity" in the context of the program.

What does the mean in the context of practicing law? Plenty. With regard to career advancement, if you've been taking the approach of being a reliable, industrious, somewhat reserved workerbee and you notice that you keep getting passed over for the big cases you'd like to work on, the answer probably isn't to do more of the same and hope for a different result. If you're constantly running ragged, wondering how you can connect with your spouse and/or children in an hour or so at the beginning or end of each day, it's a safe bet that you won't shift your actions until and unless you shift your perspective. Want a new job? You'll have to pull some time and attention away from what you're doing now to make the time to launch a job search. And if you believe that client development is something that you'll begin "later," you likely won't recognize client development opportunities that may come your way—because chance favors the prepared mind.

To make a change requires stepping outside the situation long enough to identify a problem and then to make a mental shift that will help in solving that problem. How the shift happens is individual to each person. But creating and then using a shift relies on several basic principles.

1. The shift must be authentic. If your partner, your supervisor, your doctor, or anybody else tells you to make a change and you don't buy into it, there will be no shift. Remember the punchline to the joke asking how many psychiatrists are needed to change a lightbulb? One, but the lightbulb has to really, really want to change. No psychiatry here, but if you don't really, really want to change (or at least really, really believe you need to change), chances are good that you'll keep on doing the same old, same old.

2. Maintaining the shift means keeping it in the forefront of your mind. If you're trying to make a habit of arranging lunch with one potential client a week, put that on your calendar where you see it daily. If you're trying to incorporate some stretching into your day so you don't feel like you're 90 years old when you hobble away from your desk at the end of the day, set an alarm that go off periodically. If you're wanting to improve your efficiency in the office, use time management tools that keep your eye on efficiency. Holding onto a shift in perspective means keeping it in front of you visually and/or aurally, because it's often all too easy to slide back to the old, familiar approach.

3. Reaping the benefit of the shift requires action. While it's important to recognize a problem or a situation that can be improved, that's empty if it's a recognition without follow-through. If you want more balance in your life, take some action, even if it's small. Claiming a 15-minute walk for yourself in the afternoon will not only provide some balance but also will remind you that you're seeking balance. (Put it in your calendar and keep that commitment, too!)

4. It's easier to maintain a shift, and to design and implement the actions that the shift calls for, with support. Tell your spouse that you need to set aside 3 hours on Saturday morning to catch up on work. Tell your secretary that you plan to eat lunch away from your desk one day this week. Work with a coach to provide accountability as you set out on your client development plans. If you decide you're going to make a change, you probably have about a 40% chance of succeeding. If you decide to make a change, tell someone what you're going to do, and commit to doing it by a certain deadline, you have about a 95% chance of succeeding.

What shift do you need to improve your practice and your life?

Julie Fleming Brown provides professional and personal coaching for lawyers on topics such as client and professional development, job searches, career transitions, and work/life balance. She is also certified to provide the DISC® assessment. Please visit http://www.LifeAtTheBar.com/ for more information and to arrange a complimentary coaching exploration session. To get your free Life at the Bar Survival Kit, go to http://www.lifeatthebar.com/MenuSignUp.htm

Stu's Views

Sleeping Pill
©Stu Rees. All rights reserved.

Like this cartoon? Send it to friends, clients or colleagues on greeting cards. To order, visit The Billable Hour Card Store.

Did you Know that Stu also licenses his artwork for use in newsletters, presentations, print publications and on websites? He even offers special rates for student and teacher use.

You can also purchase original artwork and custom prints (framed or unframed) from Stu.

Timesheet readers get 15% off all licensing orders, original artwork and custom prints (use coupon code BILLHOUR). Visit www.Stus.com for more information on licensing one of the hundreds of images Stu offers. For more information on original artwork and custom prints, click here.

Greetings From TBH: It's not too late to order holiday cards

Even though Thanksgiving is behind us, there's still time to order your holiday cards from The Billable Hour Card Store. Our cards are printed and shipped within days of your order. Regular shipping of boxed cards is via USPS Priority Mail, but you can contact us at 815-346-3468 if you need expedited shipping.

Remember, you can save time by having your cards mailed directly to the recipients (U.S. destinations only) on the date of your choice. Envelopes are stamped, not metered. Your own return address appears on cards mailed directly to the recipient; in effect, you receive free envelope imprinting. Addresses can be uploaded from Microsoft Outlook as well as other CRM programs.

Many of our holiday cards are on the "Featured Cards" page of the card store (which is the store's home page). You'll find all of our Christmas cards just for lawyers under the Holidays>Christmas category, and our more "traditional" holiday cards (featuring images of snowflakes, ornaments, menorahs, Christmas trees and the like) under the Especially For>Clients category.

Single cards are $2.99 each, and bulk discounts are available for purchases of 10 cards or more. Here is the bulk pricing chart:

Quantity Price Per Card Discount $ Discount %
1-9 $2.99 $0.00 0%
10-19 $2.70 $0.29 10%
20-49 $2.54 $0.45 15%
50-99 $2.24 $0.75 25%
100-199 $1.94 $1.05 35%
200-499 $1.79 $1.20 40%
500+ $1.64 $1.35 45%

Remember, the bulk discount is based on the total number of cards in your cart. So, for example, if you want to order 50 cards in one design, and your partner wants to order 50 cards in a different design, you will be entitled to the discount applicable to 100 cards (as long as all the cards are in the shopping cart at the time of checkout). Therefore, each card in your order would be priced at $1.94. Sales tax is added for California orders only.

Cartoons by Dan

Please Wait to be Seated
©Dan Rosandich. All rights reserved.

Like this cartoon? Send it to friends, clients or colleagues on greeting cards. To order, visit The Billable Hour Card Store.

Special Book Excerpt: Plain vs. precision: a fight to the death
by Adam Freedman

What is to be done with the language of the law? There are two opposing schools of thought on this question: "Precision" and "Plain English." And let's just say that if you belong to one of these groups, you don't want to wander onto the other side's turf after dark. Accidents do happen.

The Precision camp holds that the complexity of legal language flows naturally from the need of lawyers to be super-precise. According to this theory, there is nothing to be done about legalese—it's fine just the way it is. The multiple subordinate clauses and technical jargon found in legal documents are there to describe highly complex relationships and to stamp out ambiguity.

The Precision School probably reached its zenith a few decades ago when, for example, one legal scholar exultantly praised legal textbooks as ranking "in the exactitude of their language with the classic studies in physics and natural science."

An even more arresting statement of the Precision school came from Sir Ernest Gowers, a British civil servant who proclaimed legal language to be ". . . obscure in order that it may be unambiguous." In effect, the law beats me because it loves me. As recently as 1994, a law review article asked the question "should the main goal of statutory drafting be accuracy or clarity?" which assumes that making statutes clearer will make them less "accurate."

To all this talk of precision, Plain English flips an unceremonious bird. There is no structural reason, according to Plain English advocates, why the law cannot be written in simple, clear language.

Plain English embraces a number of different concepts, including using shorter sentences, active voice, and dropping surplus verbiage such as hereafter, hereinbefore, thereto, and words of that ilk. The underlying philosophy of the Plain English school is that ordinary citizens ought to be able to understand the laws they live under and the contracts they sign.

Excerpted from the book The Party of the First Part: The Curious World of Legalese by Adam Freedman. ©2007 by Adam Freedman. Reprinted by arrangement with Henry Holt and Company, L.L.C.

Lawtoons
by Suzan Charlton, Esq.

Weird Law Words

©Suzan Charlton. All rights reserved.

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Copyright 2006 The Billable Hour Co. All rights reserved.


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Message Added: November 29th, 2007 at 10:26 am



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