Most appellate lawyers my age were raised in the age of "20 pages/20 minutes." Gone were the days where oral argument might last the better part of a day (or longer). We were trained that judges were busy folk who might have (at most) fifteen minutes to read our briefs and twenty minutes to listen to oral argument. Briefs now have word and page limits, enforced by rigid rules about fonts, margins, spacing, etc. Because space is at a premium, furious wars over citation format are waged. Oral argument is rationed to only the most deserving; not a few lawyers have uttered their names and "May it please the court . . ." only to see a flashing red light.

All that was then—this is now. Our teenage children have developed a literary style of IM's or text messages over cell phones and WiFi'd laptops. Here are some ingenious acronyms commonly used:

FWIW = for what it's worth
LOL = laughing out loud (or lots of love)
TTYL = talk to you later
RUUP4IT = are you up for it
AFAIC = as far as I'm concerned
CUL8R = see you later
IOH = I'm out of here
IANAL = I'm not a lawyer
CSL = Can't stop laughing
BTDT = Been there done that

Featured Greeting Card

Like this card? You can buy it today at the Billable Hour Card Store.

It's not too late to send Thanksgiving Cards!

At the Billable Hour Card Store, we can mail your cards directly to your friends and colleagues: simply enter you contacts' addresses,
or upload them directly from Outlook or other CRM programs

We also have cards for Christmas, New Year's and other holidays

Because appellate lawyers are desperate to write the short brief that still "says it all," here are some proposed IM acronyms for the brief of tomorrow:

ASSA = assuming arguendo
WADR = with all due respect
MIPC = May it please the Court
THJTC = The Honorable Justices of This Court
OFG = Open the flood gates
2SL = slippery slope
ATC = all things considered
BNF, NBNF = basis in fact, no basis in fact
AFB = at first blush
XF = exercise in futility
LMC = landmark case
WSA = well settled authority
F2F = Oral Argument is Requested [Face to face]
LAQ = Inapposite citation [Lame A** Quote]
GMTA = Respected authority says . . . [Great Minds Think Alike]

Possibly the IM brief will induce tech-savvy justices to issue the "IM opinion," one short enough to be sent direct to cell phones. Counsel will not have to read "between the lines" because the opinion will contain only one line. For example, some IM opinions or rulings could be shortened to:

Aff'd NNuH = affirmed, nothing new here
Aff'd UKY = affirmed, you know why
Aff'd EDNSU = affirmed, error did not screw you
Aff'd ULBLoGOI = affirmed, you lost below get over it
Aff'd PC NWPI = affirmed per curiam, names withheld to protect the innocent
Aff'd WVR/CYA = affirmed, issue waived, call your insurer
Rev'd WOE = reversed without explanation
Rev'd 2$$ = reversed, too much money awarded
Rev'd GEx2 = Reversed, Golden Eagle granulation error
PRIG = petition for review ignored
PRJD = petition for review denied, rough justice was done
PRTNJ = petition for review denied, there's no justice
PRNOP = petition for review denied, not our problem
PRD CURM = petition for review dismissed, can't you read Mafridge?
NOQT = memorandum opinion [do not quote us]

Roger Hughes had his sense of humor surgically removed before graduating in 1977 from the University of Texas School of Law. His lack of drollery lead directly to being board certified in Civil Appellate Law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization. He can be found puzzling over witticisms and double-entendres at Adams & Graham, L.L.P., in Harlingen, Texas. He wishes to thank contributions from his colleagues whose humor is not similarly impaired: Don Wittig, Doug Alexander, Roger Townsend, Scott Clark, and the editors.

This article first appeared in The Appellate Advocate, a publication of the Appellate Practice Section of the State Bar of Texas, and is reprinted with their permission.