In This Issue Courtoons Joins Timesheet Lineup, TBH Sidebar Feature Article: Habit: the Enemy of Entropy Cartoon: Stu's Views Cartoon: Courtoons 101 Reasons to Kill All the Lawyers: #21: They Don't Listen as Hard as Their Clients Would Like Cartoons by Dan Video of the Month: The Streetwalking Lawyers of Aurora Avenue Lawtoons Song of the Month: Lawsuit Riot Cartoon: Law and Disorder Cartoon: Juris Comic Poeticus Lex: Elder Law Courtoons Joins Timesheet Lineup, TBH Sidebar Last month, we struck gold in our search for the best legal humor on the web: we found Courtoons. Courtoons features daily cartoons skewering all aspects of the law, drawn by Ohio appellate lawyer David Mills. We're pleased to bring Courtoons to our readers both as a regular feature in The Timesheet and in a widget in our website sidebar (right under the Video Venue widget). The Courtoons widget displays an automatically updated stream of the the most recent Courtoons. Let's let David tell you a little about the genesis of Courtoons, in his own words: I was very interested in cartoons as a kid (particularly The Far Side and Calvin & Hobbes), and sometimes I drew copies of some of my favorites. In college (Colgate), I started putting a weekly cartoon in the school paper on the student-government page (I could do this because I was in student government and [perhaps luckily] didn't really have to check if anyone thought they were that funny). I always left that as a tidbit on my resume because people continually asked about it, and I think it showed a different side of me (besides "math-geek legal guy"). When I started my own appellate practice a few months ago, I started thinking about cartooning again and had some ideas for legal cartoons (especially after working in biglaw and clerking for judges). I even drew one or two, but didn't think they were that funny. (Those drawings went to the recycling bin and are probably serving better as toilet paper right now.) I had also been thinking about blogging, but not sure about what. And I certainly didn't think I could come up with one cartoon each day. Coincidentally, however, a few weeks later I was talking with my mom about my Colgate cartooning days, and she said she thought I could come up with some legal cartoons. I told her I had actually scratched a few out, and this fortuitous discussion brought me back to doodling a couple more that very day. I came up with three that I liked, scanned them in, and then put them out on a simple blog. I e-mailed my attorney friends about it, and Courtoons was born. (Some people were concerned that I had lost my mind and had no work to do. Maybe more of the former.) Positive feedback motivated me to keep churning them out, one per day (and that can be a very tall order sometimes....). You can get a Courtoons widget for your own website at www.WidgetBox.com. In his day job, David is an Ohio appellate lawyer who works with litigants and law firms involved in civil and criminal cases in federal courts across the country. Visit his law firm website at www.MillsFederalAppeals.com Habit: the Enemy of Entropy by Julie A. Fleming I’m not a physicist (I can barely spell the word) but as I remember it, the second law of thermodynamics is that entropy, which for purposes of this post only might be a synonym for chaos or disorder, tends to increase. Another way of saying this is that systems tend to move from a state of higher organization to a state of lower organization. I see that law play out, albeit in utterly non-scientific ways, in my life and in those of my clients. A simple example is the level of order in my office. At the beginning of the day, my desk is fairly tidy, and by the end of the day, it’s typically a mess; if I don’t neaten it at the end of the day, the cycle will just start again the next morning, with eventually disasterous results. But when I do take the time to discard the things I no longer need, to stack papers, to return files and books to their proper spots, I have the pleasure of walking into a (relatively) orderly office. And so, habit is the enemy of entropy. Most of us have routines that allow our lives to function. We typically brush our teeth in the same phase of getting ready for the day and for bed, we tend to drive to work or home in the same way, etc. Professionally, the same kinds of activities keep our work lives on track: tidying the office, noting appointments on a calendar or PDA as soon as we make them, completing time sheets on a regular basis. Although these tasks are in themselves rather small, they keep things running. And that’s something to consider both in creating routines and in adhering to them. Building a habit that supports you is a key skill for any lawyer. Likewise, it’s worth noting that we all stray from our habits on occasion. There’s nothing wrong with that, so long as we get back to the beneficial habit. An example from my own life: last year, I joined a networking group and attended regularly. If it was the third Thursday, I was at the meeting. I enjoyed it, I made great contacts that produced business, and all was going well. But then the group skipped a meeting. And I was out of town for the next one. Before I knew it, 8 months had passed, and I hadn’t been to the meetings. Returning wasn’t hard, but it did take more effort than going as a part of my regular weekly habit. I had to miss last month’s meeting, and I made sure that I’d made my appointment for the next meeting and that it was marked on my calendar in ink. A part of suspending my regular practice is now planning to resume it—not because the habit itself is so important, but because it produces great results that I won’t get otherwise. What habits or practices support you in being healthy, productive, happy, etc.? Once you’ve identified them, pay attention when you stop following those routines. There’s no harm in pausing; the key is to have a plan that will support you in resuming those patterns. What’s yours? Julie A Fleming, J.D., A.C.C. provides attorney development coaching and consulting to law firm associates and partners, focusing on topics such as leadership, client, and professional development; career strategy; and work/life integration. A certified leadership coach (Georgetown University), Julie publishes the weekly email newsletter Leadership Matters for Lawyers and posts often on the Life at the Bar Blog. Learn more at www.LifeAtTheBar.com or by contacting Julie by telephone at 800.758.6214 or by email to jfb@lifeatthebar.com. Cartoon: Stu's Views by Stu Rees ©Stu Rees. All rights reserved. Questions about ordering greeting cards from The Billable Hour Card Store? Check out our greeting card FAQs. Did you know that Stu also licenses his artwork for use in newsletters, presentations, print publications and on websites? He even offers special rates for student and teacher use. You can also purchase original artwork and custom prints (framed or unframed) from Stu. Timesheet readers get 15% off all licensing orders, original artwork and custom prints (use coupon code BILLHOUR). Click here for information on licensing or purchasing Lawyers Date, any of Stu's other job stress cartoons, or any of the hundreds of images Stu offers. For more information on original artwork and custom prints, click here. Cartoon: Courtoons Courtoons are the creation of David Mills, an Ohio appellate lawyer who works with litigants and law firms involved in civil and criminal cases in federal courts across the country. Visit David's law firm website at www.MillsFederalAppeals.com

My lawyer never really listens to me.

What can I do?

KS, Hong Kong

Dear KS,

If they did teach listening at Law School, I certainly don’t remember it.

In any event, young lawyers have the unique ability to know what a person’s legal problem is before they sit down and therefore, do not need to listen.

It’s true that older lawyers do find listening tiresome. However, except for the occasional client who comes in for a will and ends up divorced, it has worked pretty well over the centuries. Lawyers with extreme hearing problems are, of course, quickly appointed magistrates or judges.

On the positive side, if lawyers took time to listen your legal bills would go up and then where would we be?

J.F.

Extract from "The International Legal Problem Page" blog where lawyer John Fytit solves your legal problems

Paul Brennan is a legal cartoonist, author and speaker. He is the author of We Have the Time if You Have the Money: How to Promote Your Legal Practice, A Legal Guide to Dying: Baby Boomer Edition, The 10 Greatest Legal Mistakes in Business . . . and How to Avoid Them, and The Law is an Ass—Make Sure it Doesn’t Bite Yours, which are intended for a worldwide audience. He blogs at www.101reasonstokillallthelawyers.com. In his day job, he is the principal of Brennans Solicitors, a law firm located in Mooloolaba, a Queensland, Australia seaside town, where he practices in the areas of business law (including franchising), intellectual property, trusts and estates, immigration and real estate. For more information on booking Paul as a speaker, visit www.lawanddisorder.com.au.

©Dan Rosandich. All rights reserved.

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Click here to enlarge (large file; please be patient)

©Suzan Charlton. All rights reserved.

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Suzan Charlton is a professional cartoonist who is rumored to practice insurance coverage law as a hobby for a major Washington D.C. law firm. Her cartoons cover a wide range of law-related topics, from law school grades to law firm romance.

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Available on 2nd Helping of Chicken Suit for the Lawyer's Soul

[Note: some lyrics have been purposely misspelled to avoid spam filters. ~Ed.]

WLAW—wonderful law!

Hello listeners. This is Attorney Bob and the phone lines are now open on

The whine line!

The call-in show where I turn your problems into my profit. Let's take our first caller right now. Dolores from Des Moines.

Hi Bob. I'm your biggest fan. I just wanna say your show really rocks! Here's my problem.

I've heard a lot recently about these tobacco class action suits . . . well, my roommate Sylvia suffers from second-hand smoke and her constant coughing and complaining has caused me considerable concern, and well . . . emotional distress. Do I have a case for third-hand smoke? Are there others like me?

I certainly hope so Dolores.

Who's that giving the first degree
It's two lawyers I guarantee
They are looking to recruit
Members for a class action suit.

Smoking causes cancer
Penal implants just don't rise
Ph*n-ph*n ain't the answer
When the girl don't exercise

Well it's a lawsuit riot! RIOT!
You had best beware
A lawsuit riot! RIOT!
Meet me at the courthouse square.

Lawsuit riot! RIOT!
You had best beware
Lawsuit riot! RIOT!
Meet me at the courthouse square.

The veterinarian killed your cat
Your bre*st implants have just gone flat
Your car is totaled and it's a shame
The insurance man denied your claim

Resort to litigation's
Something you don't wanna do
Direct solicitation
Asking you to sue

Well it's a lawsuit riot! RIOT!
You had best beware
A lawsuit riot! RIOT!
Meet me at the courthouse square.

And back to the phone lines . . . now Nick from New York

Bob. Love your show. You rock. My problem is with my HMO. They'll pay for my W|agra but not a penny for my wife's b*rth control. Now, can I sue my HMO for child support?

Clearly the company's quid pro quo is res ipsa loquitor.

Bob, Bob all this legal talk is like Greek to me!

Actually it's Latin, and I am fa-lu-ent in Latin!

Say prima facie
Sine qua non
Say su-subpoena
Corpus delicti
Res ipsa retainer
Negligence per se
Don't you forget
To serve the writ
Yeah yeah yeah

Smoking causes cancer
Penal implants just don't rise
And Ph*n-ph*n ain't the answer
When the girl don't exercise

Well it's a lawsuit riot! RIOT!
You had best beware
Just a lawsuit riot! RIOT!
Meet me at the courthouse square.

Lawsuit riot! RIOT!
Were you treated unfair?
Just a lawsuit riot! RIOT!
Meet me at the courthouse square.

Back to the whine line. Our next caller.

Hi Bob. This is Patsy from Paducah. I left the water running in my bathtub when I ran to answer the phone which was my mom and she talked to me for an hour and the bathtub overflowed and ruined my new oriental rug. Should I sue my mom (she's got great insurance)? But that's not all. My dog tripped me and I fell down the stairs into the basement bounced off the bannister landing face first into the spin cycle of my Maytag. Can I sue Sears? Can I sue myself? I was clearly negligent. I'll just hang up and listen for your answer. Bob, you rock!

Just one of the hilarious songs on

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To view Juris Comic, click here

But when you’ve reached a certain age,
Your recall seems to disengage,
And when your memory you search,
It simply leaves you in the lurch;
Names and dates and things like these
Float away as on a breeze.

If I can’t find my keys or hat,
Can I trace the statute that
Would prove the point that I must show
Before my mental ebb and flow
Puts the very point itself
On just too high a psychic shelf?

Comics make good natured jokes
At we who now are elder folks,
But it’s hardly simple fun
If we forget to get things done;
Is "Senior Moment" still so cute
As a defense to a malpractice suit?

Fred C. Russcol, Esq. is Of Counsel to Castro & Remer, P.C. in Ossining, New York. This poem was originally printed in the Westchester Bar Journal and is reprinted with the permission of the Westchester County Bar Association.