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Dear Friend You are receiving this email because you signed up for the Emotional Healing Quick Start Guide. To unsubscribe, simply click on the link at the bottom of this message. If you're a longtime reader, you may remember way back in early December I announced a big project I was working on that was just about finished, and you'd be the first to hear about it. And then you didn't hear a word from me until today. Let me explain. I was writing an autobiographical paper that detailed how I overcame what I consider crippling emotional problems - to become a very happy and somewhat successful individual. And I did finish writing it. In the process I dug up every miserable experience I could possibly think of, and every dead skeleton I could ever remember. Of a very checkered past. Once I got it all on paper, I was shocked. It looked like the life of a pathetic madman. "I can't let anybody read this," I thought. Even if I *have* changed now. I was just too bad and wrong and self-destructive. (Besides, I still need to check the statute of limitations on a few things!) I wrestled with it for about two weeks before deciding to shelve the whole project. By then it was almost Christmas. "I'll hit it hard at the first of the year. Make a fresh start in January." But then a new problem crept in. After spending all that time exploring a very painful past (that apparently was not fully resolved) I started to think I really had no business writing this newsletter. "I'm just not good enough." I didn't have the right to express my views to 14,000+ readers. I just didn't measure up. And as for the hundreds of positive feedback letters sent to me by so many enthusiastic readers - well, they don't know the 'real me'. They don't know what a sorry past I had. Blah blah blah. I was stuck in this big pathetic lie just like Brer' Rabbit got stuck in that tar baby. "I don't measure up because of an errant past." After the appropriate amount of self-pity I got about the business of ending that big lie so I could get back to work. (And all the while an average of thirty new people sign up every single day to receive a newsletter that's not even being written.) Edit The Film Of The Past The first thing I did was to 'edit the past'. Oftentimes we already do this without recognizing what we're doing. Sometimes we remember our past in ways that make our present life more difficult - such as by calling ourselves 'adult children of alcoholic parents' - for example. We inflate certain memories and deflate other ones, usually as a way to justify our shortcomings, our payoffs, and our hidden agendas. We wrap it up in a neat little package called 'the little story'. Everybody has a little story. Some choose to let it go. Others have no intention of freeing themselves. Most aren't even aware of it. (I'm not bad and wrong just because I turn my past into a story that distorts what really happened. I just need to be aware of what I'm doing.) Ending The Black Holes Of Pain Anyway, what I did was to focus on my black holes of pain - events of the past that seem to conjure up painful feelings no matter what. Got any painful memories that just won't end? I found a way to effectively end those black holes of pain once and for all. It works like a dream. I'll probably write it all down later on so you can try it yourself, if you're interested. But even after dealing with the emotional and mental pain, I was still left with the sticky residue of "I'm not good enough." Stop Feeling 'Not Good Enough' Overcoming the feelings of 'not good enough' can be a very tricky proposition. Sometimes those feelings are done as a way to manipulate yourself and others, in which case you can simply choose to end them. Many times, however, it's not a manipulation. You REALLY feel you're not enough - and nothing can change it. That's the boat I was in. Here's what I did to effectively deal with it: First, I gathered together all those thoughts and feelings of 'not enough'. Usually we try to avoid them, deny them, dance around them, and so forth. Instead, I brought them closer. I 'gathered' them. How? By sensing and imagining the energy of those thoughts and feelings. How does it FEEL to be not good enough? I felt it with intensity! What do I THINK about being not good enough? I thought about it intensely! By thinking the thoughts and feeling the feelings - I brought them closer. I gathered them. Intensity is the key. Yes, I felt like a schmuck; yes, a part of me was saying how crazy this is. That's par for the course. But you can't take out the trash if you don't first gather it up. After I gathered all the thoughts and feelings, next I totally immersed myself in them. Like sinking into a mud pit. Once I was fully in the mud pit, I asked 'one who is more than me' to lift the whole thing off me. See, I know from experience I'll never be able to remove that weight. I could fight with it my whole life and never succeed. That's the nature of feeling not good enough. You need help to end it. (Just like shame and undeservability.) So who would *you* ask, if you wanted to stop feeling not good enough? That depends totally on your religious preference. It really doesn't matter WHO you ask, as much as it matters HOW you ask. Help is always available. The question is, are you really willing to be helped? Maybe too much of your power is lost in 'not good enough' and that power must be retrieved before you will allow yourself to end it. Maybe too much of your image and identity is tied up in feeling not good enough. Maybe some other bond holds those feelings in place. Or perhaps it's not even an issue with you at all. Maybe you know you're enough. Anyway, I asked once a day for three days, and after the third day it was all gone. I successfully jumped over the hurdle and found my confidence again. Good thing, too, because I was really going to need it. The next obstacle that stood in the way of writing this newsletter - bladder cancer. My Little Miracle "Mark, it's a miracle you're still alive," one expert told me about a month and a half ago. I'm almost ashamed to admit I felt a little special upon hearing that statement. I like miracles. Then the reality hit, and for a few days I was convinced I *really was* going to die. Considering how much blood was pouring out of me every time I went to the bathroom, it wasn't such a far-fetched notion. Just when I couldn't get any weaker (especially after thinking about the upcoming surgery) along comes the worse case of the flu you could possibly imagine. How I Lost 9 Pounds In Six Days - Without Lifting a Finger! Ah, but it's not all mope and misery. I may have displayed the most impressive one-week weight loss regimen in the history of mankind. Or at least in the Richard Simmons era. Surely no prisoner of war - or no salty shipwrecked sailor marooned on a shifting sand dune - ever shed pounds with greater elegance or ease. And I did it without lifting a finger! (Which is good, since I didn't have the strength to lift that finger.) Want to lose nine pounds in six days? Just go find someone deathly ill with the flu, and share a bagel with 'em. You may have to force them to eat. Or, ask them to cough on you. And then hang on for the ride. Actually, it's more like getting run over by a steam roller. And the lost pounds? They really amount to your guts being squeezed out of you by a rampaging colony of microscopic creatures so small you'll wonder how in the world they could ever drive that steam roller. But I digress. The big day for the surgery was fast approaching. I faced it with all the swagger and bravado you'd expect from a 48 year old coward selfishly thinking only of his own survival. Fortunately, I had a very good doctor... If you're ever in the Orlando area and need a urologist, I can highly recommend Dr. James Welch. Last Friday, March 11, one week after performing the surgery, he told me I was the luckiest man alive. ("Oh doctor, I'll bet you say that to all your patients!") I wanted to hug him, but I refrained. I was lucky because the search-and-destroy mission had succeeded; all the cancer was found and removed. I would live to see another day. No further treatment would be necessary. I didn't bother to tell him I don't believe in luck. Instead I believe in creating your own reality. But if I create my own reality, how did I get cancer? I can't wait to start writing about it for next time! Through it all I still wanted to hug him. Once again, I refrained. *** Coming up, we turn to post-surgery and the profound changes it conveyed. You may be shocked by what you read in the next issue. Brought to you by Mark Ivar Myhre, The Emotional Healing Wizard fiercely slaying your emotional dragons! Ps. For more information on making permanent changes in your life and with your emotions, grab your copy of the e-book, "How To Create Your Own Reality" by clicking here ==> http://www.join-the-fun.com/bookletter.html