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Hi Friend

It's scary to really truly understand you have an ego - a
living breathing part of you with its own thoughts and
feelings quite separate from yours. And you're both living
in the same body.

It's like being locked in a dark closet with a total stranger.

Imagine the feeling. All your life you think you're alone
in your closet. Then you discover there's a stranger in
there with you.

Whoa! How did you not see it? How could someone else be
in there with you all this time - and you not know?

So much easier to pretend there's no such thing as an ego.
Or pretend it doesn't matter. That it has no impact.

But if you truly had only one 'part' of you - one aspect
of your self - then you would never feel the need to talk
to yourself. All would be quiet inside your head because
there would be nobody else to talk to.

Most people believe they ARE their ego. With no difference
between the self I and the ego I.

"I am my ego; my ego is me."

Not true. Ego is critical for your survival. But it's
not you. It's one PART of you. You are more than your
ego. Much more. Many people, however, *function* from
their ego.

Ego is dumb and repetitive. Oh-so-cynical. Self-destructive.
Bitter. Seething. Like a slow bubbling brew. When you
function from your ego, tomorrow will be like yesterday.
Yesterday will be like tomorrow. Predictable. Little
surprise and a lot of pain and struggle.

Every human has an ego. Your ego was born when you were
born, and it stays with you your entire life. You could
not survive without it.

The purpose of the ego is to take the information from the
world and deliver it to you. Like your mailman. Your job
is to interpret and respond to that information.

Unfortunately, the pain and shame of childhood often throws
the system off-balance. We decide we don't want to make
decisions about what's happening to us. And we choose to
not make choices. Instead, we try to force our egos to
make the interpretations about life.

A small child, being punished, cannot possibly figure out
why it's happening. The child cannot understand the
connection between spilt milk and a scolding or a beating.

They can modify their behavior - they adapt to the abuse -
but that's an entirely different story. They adapt even
though they don't understand.

But humans always seek meaning. A child will always seek
to rationalize the pain inflicted upon it by those God-like
beings called parents. Lacking an answer, the child turns
to its ego.

"Why did they yell at me?"

The ego - even less equipped than the child - invariably
comes back with the answer:

"Because there's something wrong with you."

It's the one answer that always makes sense. And thus the
patterns are laid.

First, the pattern of asking the ego for answers. The
pattern of forcing the ego to interpret the data it
delivers. The pattern of making the ego be responsible
for things it can't possibly be responsible for.

It's like making the mailman come into your house, sit down
and open all your mail for you. And decide how to handle
each letter. And pay all your bills.

Also comes the pattern of shaming the ego. Shame is like
a hot potato. When somebody throws it onto you, your
natural tendency is to throw it somewhere else. For a
child, usually the only place to throw that shame is onto
their ego.

"You're stupid. You're bad. You're wrong. You can't be
fixed."

Now of course the child doesn't know it has an ego. It
doesn't understand the practice of inner dialogue. It just
knows that it feels bad, and it wants to do something with
those feelings. About the only place for a child to dump
it's shame is on it's own ego.

The ego, though, has its own thoughts and feelings, its own
desires, its own imagination. It has a mind of its own.

And it can easily start to hate you at an early age. You
force it to do your job of thinking and feeling and
evaluating. You force it to come up with answers. You
force it to be responsible for your life. Your force it
to take on your shame, your pain, and your self-hate.

You abuse your ego as you were abused. Well guess what
happens when you dump and dump and dump on somebody?

They start hating you and they want to get you back anyway
they can. Have you ever seen a picture of a person with
a little angel on one shoulder and a little devil on the
other?

That little devil on your shoulder is your ego.

It started out as an ally, but most likely it's now your
enemy. And it's always whispering in your ear. It's the
little voice telling you this is all nonsense. The little
voice always trying to distract you away from what's real.
The voice that always wants you to judge without evaluating.
The voice that tells you you're either better than or less
than. But never equal.

The voice that tells you "you really are a victim". And
then gives you 45 reasons why.

Stop for a second right now, close your eyes, and ask
yourself: "Do I have an ego?"

And just listen to the answer.

That's what your ego sounds like.



all the best

Mark


brought to you by
Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard
fiercely slaying your emotional dragons!

http://www.create-reality.com

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http://www.healing-emotional-pain.com/page2.html

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