Hi Friend

I still remember my first panic attack.

I was standing in a big open field in Royal Palm Beach,
FL. My chest started pounding. My breathing came
fast and shallow. I didn't know if I would live or die.

I was frantically flailing against an invisible enemy.

Guess what? I didn't die.

After my adrenal glands calmed down, and the epinephrine
wore off, I felt I had to make some tough decisions.

Number one - get the heck out of south Florida!

At the time, I blamed my geographical location. So I
moved.

Fast forward six months. Now I'm in rural north Florida.
Outside of Hastings, to be exact. Camping on the St.
John's River about a mile from my grandmother's house.

My camping friends had left for the day.

Suddenly, without warning, I was overwhelmed again.
Only this time, it was worse. I staggered around for a
while in great anguish. Again, I didn't die. Amazing!

Since I couldn't blame it on unfamiliar territory, I
concluded my panic was caused by being alone.

By now I was ready to do anything - just so I wouldn't
have to feel this way ever again.

From that moment on, I made sure I was around other
people almost all the time. No matter if it was at home,
or school; even traveling; I was scared to death of being
by myself.

The threat of loneliness became my nemesis.

For years I lived my life tiptoeing around this fear the way
a child might tiptoe around a sleeping, abusive, alcoholic
parent. I couldn't take the chance of awakening that
monster.

It curtailed my activities. It hobbled my life. My world
became narrower. But at least I was 'safe'.

As you already know - when you try to avoid something
it has a tendency to grow stronger and sneak up on you
when you're not looking.

When you live you life in fear of anything - it can't turn
out well.

I thought I was afraid of loneliness but really I was afraid
of the *fear* of loneliness.

Loneliness is just an emotion.

If I'd spent ten minutes sitting down and really FEELING
the loneliness - embracing it fully - then I could have
consumed its energy; released it; ended it; and been much
better off.

MUCH better off.

Instead I spent more than ten *years* creating a huge
'mental construct' of what it means to be lonely.

The 'mental construct' consisted of a convoluted collection
of complicated assumptions.

Which basically all boiled down to -

"Being alone leads to extreme pain."

Assumptions, by definition, are statements you never
question. You just believe they're true.

Plus, they're invisible to the naked eye. You don't even
realize the assumptions are there.

Assumptions can be deadly. At the very least, they can
strongly influence your life.

Assumptions tend to clump together into a story about
'how life is'. Generally speaking the story is not an
uplifing one.

If you knew you were telling yourself a story, you'd
probably stop doing it!

The story hides in the shadows in the back of your mind.
It rarely makes itself known.

There's a reason for that.

There's a part of you who wants you to keep avoiding
your fears. To keep lying to yourself. To stay confused
about what to do.

There's a part of you who does not have your best
interest at heart. It wants you to be afraid.

So not only do you have the fear to deal with - but also
hidden assumptions; hidden rules; hidden boundaries;
hidden beliefs...

And on top of all that - a part of you likes it that way.

These factors tend to work together; to snowball in
their effects; becoming larger and more pronounced.
Which leads to more fear, more assumptions, and more
power to an unknown part of you.

And you become less in control of your life than ever
before.

That's where I was not too many years ago. Running
away from myself and my life. Scared out of my mind.
Always trying to hide and avoid.

More and more, panic and fear and anxiety influenced my
life.

It hurt.

And my only answer was to drink.

A lot.

I felt so helpless.

Looking back on it now, I would've given anything to end
that overwhelming fear. It robbed me of so much of my life.

I can't believe how scared I used to be.

Here's how I ended it:

http://www.reduce-fear.com

Am I fearless now?

No.

But the panic and anxiety are completely gone.

And the fear doesn't control me. It doesn't scare me any
more. I feel it and move on.

Now whenever fear comes I bring it closer. I absorb it.
Embrace it. Consume it.

For many, fear is an internal war. It can cause a lot of
damage if you don't know what to do.

I learned how to actively engage it without pain. Fear
used to hurt me enormously.

Here's how I changed:

http://www.reduce-fear.com


all the best

Mark


brought to you by
Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard
fiercely slaying your emotional dragons!

http://www.create-reality.com

http://www.reduce-fear.com

http://www.forgive-yourself.com