Or, if you prefer, Happy Holidays!

I hope all is well with you. This can be a wonderful time of the
year, as we reconnect with family and friends. Or, it can be
a sad and lonely, even painful time. I remember when this was
the least favorite time of the year for me, because it brought up
the 'aloneness' in my life. Even when I was around others, I
felt so all alone. And Christmas time was the worst time.

I was so scared of my emotions; I was so terrified of feeling
lonely. I didn't realize that if I just FELT the loneliness
without telling myself any stories about what it means to be
alone and lonely, then the simple act of feeling the loneliness
would actually resolve it.

Feeling loneliness resolves the feelings of loneliness. Once I
was willing to walk into the depths of my terrible loneliness -
like a warrior walking into battle - then I could let the feelings
surround me and enter me and fill me like a sponge. I could
feel the feelings with my heart, instead of trying to think
my way out of feeling.

Rather than fighting the feelings of loneliness, I was instead
fighting my own knee-jerk reaction to *blocking* the feelings of
loneliness.

It was a matter of being strong enough to consciously surrender
to the feelings. Surrendering from a position of strength, rather
than trying to fight off the feelings. It takes a lot of courage
to feel your feelings cleanly.

And my heart, in its own magical way, would transform that
loneliness. By feeling the intense, raging loneliness, letting
in the pure emotion, allowing in the intense energy of it,
then it would dissipate.

Sometimes quicker than other times.

But I no longer had to fear it. Being alone, feeling lonely,
no longer scared me. Because it's just feelings. You feel
them with your heart; you let your heart do its job; then they
pass right through you.

Becoming an open channel so the emotions can pass right through
me; that's how I ended the loneliness and the holiday depression
that used to hurt so bad.

Thinking about your loneliness, telling yourself stories about
it; that's what usually keeps it around and keeps it painful.

Focusing on your loneliness stories is indeed scary. Plus, it's
like being stuck on a hamster wheel. You go round and round
with it, but nothing changes.

I found the solution was to focus on my heart instead of my
head, when the feelings of loneliness came up. Bring the feelings
into my heart. Open up my heart and serve those feelings to it,
like you'd serve a holiday meal to a hungry guest. In fact, I
even used to imagine the feelings were a piping hot plate of food
that I would place into my heart. I used this imagery to help
me feel my feelings.

Imagine if your loneliness and depression were like a plate of
holiday turkey and gravy and stuffing and mashed potatoes. And
then imagine your heart is like a hungry mouth. Just put the
food in, and let your hungry heart do what it was designed to do.

Just a thought...

I've also written a new article on desire; especially desire
for a soul mate. It's in response to a reader's question.

You can read the article below:

http://www.emotional-times.com/2011/12/desire-soul-mate.html

all the best,

Mark

Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard

PS - Now I'm always seeking to feel more deeply. Even if it's
something scary - like loneliness and fear. The scarier it is,
the more power it holds. I want that power.