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Hi Friend

I hate anxiety.

I don't care what you say, I hate it. Lucky for me I've
hardly felt it in four years. I've had my share of fear.
But almost no anxiety.

I don't mind fear. But I hate that nebulous, vague,
hazy feeling:

"Something's gonna happen. I know it. I just don't
know what it is, where it's coming from, when it's
gonna hit. But it will. I know it. Cause I'm feeling
so anxious."

Yuck!

At least with fear I know what's coming. Or I should
know, if I'm paying attention. And I can deal with it
almost instantly. But anxiety's different, isn't it?

By it's very nature, it's a painful foggy prickly feeling.
You can't grab it, but it sure can grab you. It's not
fair. Anxiety seems so unfair. And it's so unknown.

Even when you know the causes of anxiety -

http://www.join-the-fun.com/anxiety.html

you're still a long way from ending it. And once it's
got a hold of you, it usually doesn't let go. Its natural
tendency is to grow stronger and speak louder.

"Hey! You can't ignore me!"

Anxiety has a message for you:

***
You Need To Learn Greater Mastery And Skill
***

If you do know the focus of your anxiety, that's
where you need the greater mastery and skill.

Take public speaking as an example. "I've got a
speech to give and I'm really anxious about it."

Well, become a better speaker and watch that anxiety
lessen.

If you *don't* have a focus for your anxiety; meaning
it's the so-called 'generalized anxiety disorder'; then
you may need greater mastery and skill in dealing with
your emotions. (Which also includes the emotion of
anxiety, conveniently enough!)


Probably the main cause of anxiety comes from not
expressing your emotions.


Stuff that anger, and you might end up with anxiety.
Unexpressed anger can end up in a lot of different
places; anxiety is one of those places.

Likewise, if you stuff your pity or your feelings of
victimhood, it could end up as anxiety. Cause we all
know we're not 'supposed' to feel pity.

So what do we do? We can end up on a battlefield
where we keep fighting to *not* feel our pity. Keep
trying to hide it rather than feeling it and letting it go.
And end up with anxiety.

All feelings end up somewhere if you don't feel them
cleanly and release them completely. Some of 'em
end up as anxiety.

If you want to get rid of your pity, why not try flushing
it out? Worked for me.

http://www.join-the-fun.com/self-pity.html

Anxiety is what I call a 'secondary emotion' because it
seems to be a byproduct of some other emotion.

So what emotion starts most anxiety?

I'd say by far the number one cause of anxiety is from
shame.

Shame - the abuse inflicted onto you. First by another
person, and then by you. Cause if someone else starts
the abuse, and then they leave; you'll often continue
what they started. The shame becomes internalized.

"I'm so stupid."

"What's wrong with me?"

"I'll never be good enough."

Shame is a complicated mess. If you feel it, then
basically someone got you to carry their dirty smelly
rotten burlap bag of shame. They thought they could
get rid of their own shame by dumping it onto you.

Which never works. You end up with a bunch of anger
and blame and worthlessness that's not even yours. No
wonder you feel anxiety!

You carry someone else's burden and it makes you feel
flawed and defective. And then they still have all their
own shame. They couldn't get rid of it; they could only
spread it around. Now you both feel shame.

"Something's wrong" because "I'm wrong".

That's the anxiety caused by shame.

So what's the answer? You could start by reading up
on shame. John Bradshaw is a pioneer on the subject.
He's got some books to help you start working with it.

But even if you successfully deal with your shame,
that still won't end the anxiety. They're two separate
problems. Even though they so often overlap, you
can't end one by ending the other.


Working With Anxiety

Here's how I was able to escape my anxiety once and
for all:


1. I reduced my current level of anxiety.

Sometimes I would literally 'run in place' to try to get
rid of my anxiety. It helped a little.

I also tried EFT, or 'tapping'. But I had better results
with the running. (You could try tapping yourself all
over your body instead of the few spots recommended
by EFT for anxiety. I wrote an article about it last
December.)

http://emotional-times.com/2006/12/heres-what-i-do-every-morning.html

In the e-book, How To Reduce Fear, Escape Anxiety
and End Panic, I explain a few other more-effective
ways I've found to reduce the amount of anxiety
you're feeling RIGHT NOW. Keep in mind they can
only help temporarily; they aren't designed to be
permanent solutions.

And as a last resort, you could always get out your
trusty ol' pen and paper and start writing as fast as
you can about what you're feeling. 'Processing your
thoughts and feelings'. To this day, I still do it on
a regular basis. Even when I'm feeling wonderful!


2. I stopped creating more anxiety.

I've spent most of my life thinking about my feelings
rather than feeling my feelings. Making up stories
about them...

Fear stories. Anger stories. Pity stories. Stories of
blame and righteousness, frustration, martyrhood,
nobility, cynicism, and so forth. Stories I wanted to
pretend were true.

I ended up stuffing my true feelings rather than just
feeling them. One of the many problems with this
is that it creates anxiety.

Once you start feeling your true feelings, and then
releasing them, you'll find that in itself will reduce
your anxiety levels. The trick is to find your REAL
feelings and step back from your made-up feelings.

Here's two clues to whether or not you're feeling
your true feelings or not:

First, do you seem to be stuck in the same old thoughts
and feelings without being able to change? Generally,
that means you've surrounded your true feelings with
some made-up stuff.

Always look for what's real. For example, blame and
righteousness are not real. You can blame for the
rest of your life, and it will never move you one inch
forward. You'll be spinning your wheels forever.

Same with righteousness. "I have the right to be
angry after what they did!"

Sure you do. You have the right to do whatever you
want in that head of yours. But until you remove the
slick coating of righteousness from around your anger
you'll never even TOUCH your anger.

And part of the price you pay is anxiety.

If you're spinning your wheels and can't get any traction
then you're not in touch with your true feelings. Look
BEYOND the slick veneer. Move past the need to blame
and the need to be right. (As two examples.)

Here's another clue:

Can you feel without thinking? Can you JUST feel?
Feel without telling yourself ANYthing about what
you're feeling?

If so, you're most likely in touch with your true
feelings. But if you have the need to justify or
rationalize or explain what you feel, that's a good
sign you're not in touch.


3. I found and ended the heart of my anxiety.

At the very center of all the anxiety you've ever felt,
and ever will feel, there's an energy I call the 'heart'
of your anxiety.

If you find and remove this energy, then it will be MUCH
easier to escape anxiety for good; just like I did. You'll
think it's a miracle. Maybe it is, I don't know. I just
know it works.

So what is the heart of your anxiety?

It's the event that happened the very first time you ever
felt anxiety. It's your 'first anxiety'. All the other
anxieties you've ever felt are an extension of your first
anxiety. All other anxieties are built on the foundation
of your first anxiety.

Remove the foundation of your first anxiety and you
can watch the whole structure of your lifetime of anxiety
wobble and become weak.

Once you've handled your first anxiety, everything else
seems to fall into place. The power - the energy - that
anxiety holds in your life will just fade away. You'll
still need to go through the motions; cleaning up the mess
that anxiety's left; but it won't be that hard.

You'll know what to do.

So how do you find your first anxiety? And how do you
take back it's energy?

Well, you could start by thinking back to your childhood.
Your anxiety began sometime after your conscious mind
developed; which is generally about the age of five or
six. You did not feel anxiety before this time.

You might have felt a lot of fear, but no anxiety. Fear can
start the day you were born, if not before. You did not
feel anxiety, however, until after your conscious mind took
over the responsibility of living your life from your
subconscious mind.

Anyway, if you find that first anxiety, then you can go
back and release it's energy.

I've outlined how to do that in the e-book on reducing
fear, escaping anxiety and ending panic:

http://www.reducing-fear.com

And I'm also putting together two audio files on the
topic. The first one explains more about the whole
situation and how to find that first anxiety. The second
one takes you to your first anxiety and guides you to
releasing and freeing yourself from the energy that's
currently locked in place.

Anyone who's ordered the e-book will be given a copy
of these audio files at no cost. If you're interested in
getting a copy of these audio files, then make sure you
order your copy of the e-book in the next day or so.

Then, as soon as they're ready, I'll send you a link so
you can download a copy of the audio files.

But after that, I'll probably charge extra for them.

Of course, you can do it on your own, also. I've said
enough about the process that you can probably figure
the rest out on your own, if you wish.

But the audio files will make it a lot easier. They'll also
be different than any other files I've done up till now.
Because the sound quality will be much better. I'm
excited about it!

Plus, if you order the e-book, you'll also get complete
instructions on ending panic and reducing fear. Because
fear, panic and anxiety each require their own unique
approach.

You'll understand more when you read the e-book.

http://www.reduce-fear.com


all the best

Mark

PS. I'm going to take a walk around the Landing in
downtown Jacksonville as soon as I send this message out
(it's Sunday afternoon, May 20) but if I get back early
enough I'll start playing around with recording those
audio files. It'll probably take a day to get it 'just
right'.

Then I'll send out a link to everyone who's bought a copy
of the e-book.

brought to you by
Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard
fiercely slaying your emotional dragons!

http://www.create-reality.com

http://www.reduce-fear.com

http://www.forgive-yourself.com

http://www.healing-emotional-pain.com