Feeling Better - Step One

June 7th, 2007 at 12:56 pm

Hi Friend

Feeling better involves taking a series of steps. But a
common problem I've had - and I've seen in many others -
is they just want the success (whatever it is) without
having to take the steps to get there. I call it the
'visualize winning the lottery' syndrome.

"I don't want to succeed - I just want the success." This
mindset is universal and has been highly exploited by many
advertising and marketing people.

"Get Rich Without Working!!"

"Lose Weight While You Sleep!!"

Lot of appeal in those statements, isn't there? I've fallen
for those lines a few times myself. But let me tell you a
simple and profound truth: the steps to getting there, are
the qualities of being there. And the qualities of being
there are the steps to getting there.

Succeeding = the steps to getting there.

Success = the qualities of being there.

The secret - if there is one - is to fall in love with the
process of succeeding. Any success, large or small, involves
a series of steps that could be viewed as a process. You
start at the beginning - step by step - until you reach the
conclusion. Then you either repeat the process or you move
on to other successes and other processes.

Let's look at the particular success of feeling better.
Emotional contentment. To feel good - to feel good about
yourself and your life - to feel emotional contentment -
involves a series of steps. It's a process.

It starts with an awareness of your current situation. Not
in a judgmental, condemning way, but from a more objective,
realistic viewpoint. Find the realness of your situation
without interpreting that realness.

For example, I might be in pain. To me, that's real. But
then I may also blame my pain on someone or something else.
That's not real, and will prevent me from moving forward.

Find the realness. State the facts. With no taint, no
twist of interpretation. Step one. Know where you are with
as much clarity as possible. Most people will never get
past this first step because of an arrogant refusal to see
the reality of their situation.

But if you want to succeed - if you want the success of
feeling better - you MUST find the realness. It's one of
the steps to feeling better, and it's also one of the
qualities of being there - of actually feeling better.

I want to carry my blame with me, all the way to the end of
the process, but it will never happen. Instead, I need to
find the allure of realness. I need to find the love of
being real. I need to fall in love with being real.

I have to get to the point where I prefer to be real, as
opposed to blaming (or whatever else may be standing in the
way of my realness).

Clarity - awareness - crystal-clear perception of my current
situation - is the first step to feeling better. It's also
one of the qualities of a person who lives a life of feeling
good. Often times, we want to just feel good, but we don't
want to take the steps of getting to that point of feeling
good.

So what's the answer? Well, first of all, just being aware
of this trap. Seeing the realness of it. Finding the
motivation to change. Taking a small step forward; maybe
flirting with the idea of realness - trying it on like a
new pair of shoes. Loving and accepting yourself for NOT
being real up till now. And so forth.

See what we've got here? A process within a process! It
may take a whole complete process just to complete step one
of the larger process.

I want to feel better. But I'm stuck in blame or pity or
whatever. And to even get to the realness of my situation
I've got to take a series of steps.

What's common to all the steps no matter the unique
situation? What's the glue that holds it all together?
What will keep you moving forward?

Willingness. I might not be willing to let go of my pity.
I might not be willing to even look at it in an honest
manner. But I can be willing to someday be willing. I can
be willing to acknowledge there is a problem.

I can be willing to be willing later on at some point in
the future.

Find what you ARE willing to do to succeed. Start there.
Find your current level of willingness.

Willingness is totally under your control.

You can have all the willingness you want.


all the best

Mark


brought to you by
Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard
fiercely slaying your emotional dragons!

http://www.create-reality.com

http://www.reduce-fear.com

http://www.forgive-yourself.com

http://www.healing-emotional-pain.com/page2.html