Friend - more on reducing fear
July 31st, 2004 at 11:45 pmDear Friend Last issue, I went on and on about re-writing the
e-book, "How To Create Your Own Reality" - but I forgot to include
a link if you were interested in purchasing a copy! Here's the link
to find out more - http://www.join-the-fun.com/bookletter.html I
also mentioned the new product I'm working on - the one about fear,
anxiety and panic. If you'd like to get on the list, I've decided
to keep it open rather than cutting it off at 200 people. (I had
more than 200 people sign up in the first 24 hours, and I just
couldn't turn those extra people away.) You can still sign up by
sending a blank email to - reducefear@getresponse.com In the first
installment (which you'll get by signing up at the link above) I
wrote about the difference between real fear and imaginary fear -
otherwise known as 'the fear story'. Working with the fear story
offers a way to tread water. It allows you to put your fears at bay
by bleeding off the excess energy they produce. It's your first
line of defense against a rampaging wave of unpleasant emotional
energy - fear run rampant. Your fear story stands between you and
what you want. It blocks your success like a school-yard bully who
keeps you from playing on the swing set. Your fear story creates
the following effects: 1. It's defeating and demoralizing. You feel
like giving up on yourself and on your world. 2. It makes you
ashamed. You can't let anybody see your fear. It separates you from
others and it can even separate you from yourself. 3. It robs you
of the richness of living life. Life has so much to offer, and you
only have so many days on this earth. A day without richness is a
day you'll never get back. 4. It confuses and paralyzes you. You
can become like a rat lost in a maze. You can end up too scared to
move because you don't know what to do. (The antidote to fear is
action, by the way.) 5. It takes the beauty out of life. Everything
looks ugly. Everywhere you look, it all seems so bland, so
meaningless. 6. It makes life harder to enjoy. It seems like you're
not getting anywhere. You have so little fun, and everything seems
so *serious*. 7. It offers no comfort and takes no compassion on
you. Your fear story is a cold-hearted motherf##ker. Pardon my
language - you know I don't usually talk like this - but I can't
sugar coat it and I need to get your attention. Your fear story is
REALLY out to get you. It's not playing games and you need to take
it very seriously. It can hurt you. It's not an idle threat. It can
create some really tough times, and maybe it already has. It's time
to deal with your fear story! Your fear story is a faulty solution
to a painful by-product (unresolved fear) that precipitates from an
out-of-balance and unnatural civilization. We live in a very
dysfunctional world, and it's getting worse. The fabric of society
is slowly becoming unraveled - ominously and unavoidably - and it's
like watching a train wreck in slow motion. You know it's gonna
happen - you wish you could stop it - but you can't even turn away.
We watch the social fabric deteriorate around us, and this creates
the perfect breeding ground for fear to run rampant. But no matter
how bad the world around you becomes - you can set up a domain
around yourself. You can establish dominion in your life. You can
create a domain of safety to surround and protect yourself. By all
means, do everything you can to save the world - but 'save'
yourself first. Work on yourself, heal yourself first, then you can
heal the world. And it all starts with bleeding off those imaginary
fears. However, you may feel a certain reluctance to actually
taking the necessary steps to end your fear story. Listed below are
a few reasons for not ending the fear story: Why we refuse to
release the fear story: 1. It's become too much a part of who we
are. Even though it's scary, even though it hurts, the fear story
can become a big part of our very identity. Letting go of the fear
story becomes more frightening than the fear story itself, because
we won't know who we are without it. It's too much of our identity
and we're afraid to lose that identity. The solution? Mourn the
loss of that part of you that WILL die once you let go of the fear
story. Sure, it may seem to be a part of who you are, but in
reality it’s part of who you are *not*. Your fear story can become
like a giant growth that’s attached to your body. Ugly or not, it
functions and appears to be a part of you - a part of your
identity. Mourn the loss, grieve for it like you would grieve for
anything that dies, and then let it go. 2, We're using the fear
story to manipulate others or ourselves. "I'm not doing this! You
can't make me!" - If that's how you react to ending the fear story,
then you can be fairly certain that you're using your fear story to
manipulate - either yourself or others. Maybe the fear story makes
you weak and helpless. Maybe it punishes another. Maybe it proves
what a rotten childhood you had. Maybe it helps you avoid dealing
with your life. These are some of the ways you could be using your
fear story - as a weapon or a club - as 'proof' of something - or
to avoid something. The solution? Put a face on that arrogant
voice. See it as you - visualize yourself arrogantly saying what
you really feel about the fear story exercise. And then say "NO!"
to that voice. 3. We're more afraid of thinking and feeling than we
are of the fear story. We become the lethargic procrastinator. -
"I'll do it later. I don't have time." "Let me sleep on it. Let me
hide a little deeper under the rock. Please don't make me think and
feel. I'd rather squirm like a worm - artfully avoiding the fear
for as long as I can. Please let me sleep," we say in a martyred
voice. "I just can't do it. It's too hard. Somebody needs to do it
for me. It's too much work to end the fear story." The solution?
Read the following article and do the technique it suggests -
http://www.join-the-fun.com/pity Working with your fear story
forces you to think and feel. You must evaluate and contemplate, in
a Socrates-like fashion, to determine exactly what your fear story
really says. (Don't worry - it's not as hard as it sounds!) Besides
these three reasons, you may have your own unique reluctance to end
the fear story. Whatever it may be, I strongly urge you to overcome
your resistance and practice the 'fear story technique' and watch
your life change! Last week I sent out the info on ending the fear
story, but there's also a few more details you need to know to make
it most effective. This concluding information regarding the fear
story will be ready in a day or so, but first I still need your
response to what I've already written. Did you try it? What
happened? Do you have questions about it? What's your opinion of
it? Please let me know ASAP - so I can get this next section out.
all the best, Mark For more information on working with your
emotions, grab your copy of the e-book, "How To Create Your Own
Reality" by clicking on the link below -
http://www.join-the-fun.com/bookletter.html brought to you by Mark
Ivar Myhre The Emotional Healing Wizard fiercely slaying your
emotional dragons! P O Box 76001 Saint Petersburg FL 33734