Email Campaign Archive

Friday, February 10, 2012 Hi Friend You are receiving this message because you requested information on how to handle depression. To unsubscribe from these mailings, click on the link at the bottom of the page. Or, if you also receive my ezine Emotional Times, then you may as well unsubscribe from this list, since from now on it will be the exact same message. (Unless you just want to read it twice...) Last issue, I wrote about the damage self pity inflicts on all of us to one degree or another. While self pity ranks as one of the most effective tools of a child in coping with the rigors of life, as a grown-up self pity becomes the glue that holds our problems together. It lulls us to sleep as it gently persuades us that we really aren't responsible for our life and the problems in it. The slimy gooey mushy pit of self pity cradles and cocoons us, and like a fish in the ocean that never realizes it lives in water, we don't even know the self pity exists in our lives. But, boy can we see it in others! When I first began to seriously explore self pity a few years ago, one of the first things that jumped out at me was the fact that almost everyone I knew was literally inundated with it! I was surrounded by people in self pity. This seemed so odd, since I honestly believed my own pity had been somehow conquered and bested; perhaps shooed off in the night, or maybe, attempting to do the right thing, it simply slunk away while I wasn't looking. Either way, I KNEW I didn't have any self pity issues... Therefore, I felt completely justified - almost as a duty to God and country, to point out (and oh, so tactfully!) the pity I observed in the people I loved. Kind of like pointing out a speck of food on your dinner companion's face. After all, they'll probably thank me for it, and I'll be a hero, right? I'll be the wise one, the sage, the enlightened guru on the mountain top of emotional stability, ready to impart my wisdom on all those seeking to better themselves. The "Miss Manners" of the emotional realm. Why, I could even start an advice column in the local... My daydreaming was rudely interrupted by a hard dose of reality, as my good intentions (have you noticed - they're ALWAYS good?) not only fell upon deaf ears, but my wonderful friends and relatives, apparently having their own plans for advice columns up their sleeves, informed me (without the tact, I might add) that not only was I COMPLETELY AND ONE HUNDRED PERCENT WRONG, but also I WAS THE ONE IN SELF PITY and NOT THEM. Well, that was a real head scratcher, let me tell you. Months passed. Still, the resolution alluded me. How could they ALL be so wrong? Finally, I began to learn about and explore the shadow self - the part of us that holds all the things we deny. I learned the shadow, born when we are born, exists as a a part of every human, every bit as real as any person alive. I learned the shadow is not something to be despised, or feared, but rather the shadow serves a very useful function. All the thoughts, all the feelings that I could not or would not admit to having - they didn't just disappear. As I was throwing my pity away, like cigarette butts thrown from a speeding car, my shadow followed right behind, picking up every single one of those pitiful butts, and saving them for when I matured enough to dispose of them properly. And in the meantime, my shadow offered many hints and clues to the pity I denied. One of those hints reflected as the people around me expressing and living in pity. What a mind blowing experience! ...to come to understand and know, on a gut level - that others really are a mirror to my own inner workings. More than a cute saying, the people in my life really do reflect what's inside of me. They really do. The pity I denied ended up in the whinings of those around me. Like a bad movie that just will not end, my unwitting friends were playing out the very emotions that I would swear on a stack of Bibles did not exist in me. Now I REALLY had a reason to feel pity! And I was forced to acknowledge what I knew deep down inside the whole time. Yes, there was a tiny, tiny, TINY bit of pity somewhere in my otherwise upstanding and respectable emotional body. (Did I mention it was tiny?) Out of this recognition and acknowledgment, I was then able to take the next step; forgiving myself. And out of the forgiveness comes the ability to change. The last issue provided the specific technique for implementing that change. The "pity flush", I guess we could call it. To read the last issue, go to http://www.join-the-fun.com/self-pity.html

Using the pity flush

My suggestion for achieving the greatest benefit from this technique is to use it on your biggest problem. What bugs you the most? What are you losing sleep over? What drives you crazy, with its lack of resolution or even solution? What gets under your skin and just won't let up? Why not try the pity flush on it? Just follow the steps outlined in the last issue, except rather than feeling the pity, first imagine the problem. Focus exclusively on your problem that will not go away. How does it make you feel? What does it do to you? When does it happen? Where? Feel it. Think about it. INTENSELY. Once you have it so vividly imagined that you just want to puke, then start feeling the pity. Bring it up, conjure it forward, make it real. Feel the pity! Then, continue with the steps as before, feeling it flush out of your body, and into the sink or toilet. Try it twice a day for three days, and you should notice a much clearer perspective on your problem. The glue that holds your problem together will start to dissolve. Solutions and resolutions will come much easier. The entire problem may shrink down to a more manageable size. These are some of the benefits you can expect when practicing this very simple technique on a problem of any magnitude or duration. And now, I'd like to end on a totally unrelated subject... Every so often someone writes me and mentions they are either starting a web site or they already have one going. If you would like to learn how to do it the RIGHT way - I strongly urge you to click on the link below and find out exactly what it takes to create your presence on the web. I wasted two years and many hundreds of dollars before I stumbled onto their products. You can learn quite a bit just from their free downloads: http://freetrial.sitesell.com/ivar.html What to do next: 1.Read the next issue as we continue to explore emotional healing techniques. 2.Order your copy of the e-book, "How To Create Your Own Reality" http://www.join-the-fun.com/bin/ap.pl?special-offer 3.Forward this newsletter to your friends. If you enjoyed this issue, and know someone else who may also, forward a copy to them. 4.Send all feedback regarding this mailing to feedback@join-the-fun.com best wishes, Mark Ivar Myhre The Emotional Healing Wizard fiercely slaying your emotional dragons! join-the-fun.com http://www.join-the-fun.com thanks for reading!