Email Campaign Archive

Friday, February 10, 2012 Hi Friend You are receiving this message because you requested information on how to handle depression. To unsubscribe from these mailings, click on the link at the bottom of the page. Projecting Optimism We constantly project into the future. We can't help it; that's part of what makes us human. Our frontal lobes - the area of the brain right behind the forehead - constantly thinks about the future. Creating, reviewing, rehearsing, and discarding various scenarios about what will happen. (And what won't happen...) "What's gonna happen?" "What's gonna happen?" "What's gonna happen?" Projecting into the future rates as normal, healthy, human behavior. If... If we're projecting positive, healthy thoughts. Optimistic thoughts. Optimistic feelings. Produced out of optimistic beliefs. Directed out of optimistic choices and decisions. All too often, however, those projections are NOT based on positive, optimistic raw materials. Rather, they consist of quite negative ones. According to the world's foremost expert on optimism, Dr. Martin Seligmann, everyone is born optimistic. And yet, 95% of grownups are pessimists, not optimists. What goes wrong? What turns youthful optimism into grown-up pessimism - and so often cynicism as well? The answer consists of two words - pain and shame. As a youth, every human experiences pain and shame. It's an unavoidable part of the heritage of today's society. Maybe the pain and shame were severe, maybe not. A tender young seedling can be crushed (or deformed) much more easily than a full-grown tree. It doesn't take a lot of abuse - or neglect - to produce a lifetime of damage. The nature of shame with it's accompanying pain involves passing it on from generation to generation. The worthlessness, the 'dirtiness', the rage that I feel becomes like a hot potato and I find myself compelled to pass it on - and always to someone weaker than me. Just like the worthlessness, the 'dirtiness', and the rage were given to me by my parents so I must pass it on to my kids. And thus begins the warping, the twisting, the distorting, of my youthful optimism into the grown-up pessimism. Shame involves a lot more, but you get the idea. It's not biological. It's not genetic. It's part of the heritage. One of the end results of shame is that I become pessimistic and often times cynical as well. However, instead of calling it 'pessimism', I call it 'intelligence'. "It won't work. That's a stupid idea." "It'll never fly." "You can't do that." "Nobody's gonna get the best of me! I'm too smart!" ...as I become too LAZY to do the work of evaluating. Instead, I become blinded by my own pessimism. I become cynical of everything but my own cynicism. 95% of the population finds itself in this boat without even realizing it. Of course, very few people label themselves as pessimistic. In fact, we like to think of ourselves as open-minded optimists. Why the misconception? 1. We don't really think about it much. 2. We don't know what it means to be optimistic. 3. We don't understand the value and significance of optimism. Let's look at the last point first. Science, being at the stage of a toddler entering the 'terrible two's' - can only tell us so much about the 'inner world' that includes optimism. Given this obvious limitation, one study stands out as perhaps the best scientific exploration of optimism - C. Peterson, M. Seligman, and G. Vallinat, "Pessimistic Explanatory Style as a Risk Factor for Physical Illness: A Thirty-five Year Longitudinal Study", J Person Soc Psych 55 (1988): 23-7. Three main discoveries came out of this classic paper thirty five years in the making: Optimists live longer than pessiminsts. Optimists suffer from fewer and less severe diseases. Optimists are much healthier than pessimists. Besides these obvious health benefits, optimism also implies a higher quality of life. Quality of life - manifested as greater success, greater happiness, greater love. A life of accomplishment. A life lived full and rich. A life worth living. A life you can be proud of. A life you can sink your teeth into. These are some of the benefits of being an optimist. Improving your optimism rates as one of the most important actions you can take to improve your life. It doesn't come automatically, though. It takes work. It takes effort. It takes specific techniques designed to change your mindset, and thus your life. That's exactly what we'll be exploring in the next few weeks. Learning exactly what optimism consists of, and how you can increase yours. In the meantime, if you feel the urge to work with pain and shame, two excellent cassette tape programs are available - "Ending the Pain" and "Ending Shame Part I". If I had not used those two tools years ago, you would not be reading these words today. Affordable and very empowering... the exact opposite of antidepressants! (Although I personally know one psychiatrist who combines these tapes with the meds...) Anyway, to order or for more info you can call Concept Synergy during normal business hours (Eastern time) at 1 800 678 2356. (I'm not affiliated with them, I just love the tapes.) What to do next: 1.Read the next issue as we continue to explore emotional healing techniques. 2.Order your copy of the e-book, "How To Create Your Own Reality" http://www.join-the-fun.com/bin/ap.pl?special-offer 3.Forward this newsletter to your friends. If you enjoyed this issue, and know someone else who may also, forward a copy to them. 4.Send all feedback regarding this mailing to feedback@join-the-fun.com best wishes, Mark Ivar Myhre The Emotional Healing Wizard fiercely slaying your emotional dragons! join-the-fun.com http://www.join-the-fun.com thanks for reading!