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Friend
 This weekend
I went camping with my girlfriend on her first
camping trip. The thing that I was most impressed
by was how nothing got to her.
We were surrounded by kids running around the
campground (it is family car camping after all),
at one point they were actually running in and
out of our tent. Between that and the dirt and
the ocassional bug and she took it all in stride.
I was definitely impressed
Not letting things get to you is one of the most
attractive traits a man or a woman can develop.
One key is to roll with it and catch yourself
when you find you are getting defensive.
Avoid Defensiveness
Her: “So you’re just buying girls drinks,
trying to get them drunk, and take them
home.”
You: “Absolutely not, I think that is a really
sleazy thing about guys these days.”
You have already crashed and burned here.
Defensiveness is the worst thing you can do when
relating to just about anyone. So quit it! Learn to
agree with people much more.
Even when I disagree with someone about something I
always agree and take their point of view first.
Then I present my viewpoint in a way that isn’t in
opposition to their point of view. This is a very
important tactic when dealing with people. Most of
the time people just want to be heard. As long as
you can make them understand you see their point of
view then they are much more willing to accept
yours.
In our case being defensive creates a sense of
opposition, and that creates a sense of power
imbalance. It is like the predator response: as
soon as someone runs, you chase almost
instinctively. When you are defensive it
evokes a sense of her wanting to prove you’re
exactly what you are so defensive about.
Her: “You’re a jerk.”
Guy: “I really am not! You’ll see that if you get
to know me.”
Do you believe it? Of course not, disqualification
is a great way to deal with this and actually
agreeing with it is a form of
disqualification.
Her: “You are a jerk.”
You: “You’re absolutely right, [teasingly] damn you
are a good judge of character.”
Her: “You are just trying to get me to sleep with
you.”
You: “Oh boy, you found me out. I was planning on
taking you home and giving you an amazing night of
incredible pleasure; I guess now that will have to
wait till you get to know me better.”
When you agree it is almost always funny, and
rarely do they believe a word you say. In fact if
you are defensive people will think you are what
you are being defensive about. However, if you
agree with whatever they are saying about you, then
they don’t actually believe you are that.
Defensiveness shows pure insecurity. Being able to
admit you are something bad, and be proud of it,
that shows incredible confidence. The funny thing
is no one actually believes you when you admit
it.
November Coaching Program
Commit to making a change that will last!
A one weekend seminar/workshop/bootcamp will only
bring you so far. I’m not knocking them, in fact
if they are a great way to overcome your approach
anxiety. They will motivate you and get you out
of your comfort zone. Unfortunately no matter how
good the workshop your progress is likely to end
there. A weekly coaching program is the FASTEST
way make permanent reproducible results.
Benefits of a weekly coaching program:
- Stay motivated to improve with weekly goals
and missions
- Speed up your learning curve; overcome your
sticking points before you become STUCK
- Get Pre-Date advice for more successful dates
instead of just learning what you did wrong
- Get advice for the kind women you want to
meet and that specifically fits your life
- Your needs are specific and only one on one
coaching will give you the attention you need to
succeed
- Make change that is permanent!
I only accept 6 clients per month!
- Only 2 spots left
I am invested in your success as much as you are.
I screen all of my clients, if you want your
confidence and success with women spoon fed to
you go hire someone else; I only accept
motivated individuals who are willing to work
on their dating skills.
Throughout the week I expect constant updates
through email, and even quick phone calls if you
need them. This coaching program is more than
just a weekly phone call, it is about working on
your missions, exercises, and meeting women on a
daily basis.
Don’t accept advice from someone who doesn’t know
you or your life. Our very first week I will be
asking you the tough questions getting to know
you inside and out. I will make you define what
is unique and interesting about you and we will
work together on our very first call to help you
learn to express your confident interesting
personality.
You are stuck because NO advice or method fits
every situation; advice needs to be tailored to
your needs
You probably have already read TOO MUCH dating
advice!
It is time to get results not just put more
seductive false advertising in your head. Most
guys understand my method after one listen of my
Audio
Workshop. However to be good at the
techniques and tips it takes practice. If you
don’t actually try it you will never learn what
you are doing wrong. If you don’t have someone to
help you through your mistakes, you will continue
making the same mistakes over and over.
Even I hire a coach for myself! We are
oblivious to our own mistakes.
You deserve the choice of high quality women in
your life
“Dan’s an excellent instructor. He really knows
how to explain the concepts. He listens and
answers questions directly and usefully. He also
cares. He was always right there when I needed
feedback or encouragement”
- Steve from Monterey CA
“My experience talking with Dan on the phone for
an hour was really good. As a result I’ve
injected new life into my conversations, and
people are saying to me, “we have to get together
more often!” Kid you not. My review: Five stars.
It was exactly what I was looking for:
clarification on basic good conversation!!! Thank
you”
- Jay from Los Angeles
“Dan introduced me to a whole new world of
creating powerful connections with the people I
meet on a daily basis. Let’s face it, I went to
Dan to learn how to connect with the women that I
wanted to meet. But a side benefit of the
coaching was that I found it helped build
relationships in many areas of my life. I use the
techniques in business and with friends, too.
They are very powerful and I’m incredibly glad I
have worked with Dan. He cares that his students
succeed. As a side note on the romance front, the
issue I’m dealing with right now is having too
many girls in my life …”
- Richard from San Francisco
Reserve your spot now!
Sign up before Nov 3rd and receive the Dating
Decoded Audio Workshop and Confidence Decoded
Free! A $67 value and over 4 hours of information
packed audio.
Learn more with a FREE phone consult by
contacting me at info@charismatips.com to
set up a time to talk.
To learn more about the coaching programs we
offer including our new Social Mastery course in
San Francisco go here: http://www.TheCharmingGeek.com
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Dating Mistakes:
Repeating Her
No single mistake can ruin an interaction or a
date faster than this, and you have probably been
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I know when I first started to uncover the
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